Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Hi,

My husband and I have been married almost 4 years next month. My husband and I have been seperated for 1 month. I can't quit thinking of him every second of the day. I miss him so much, I miss our family. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant, this was an unplanned pregnancy. He suggusted adoption which is not an option for me. I feel he is just trying to be a scapegoat. He says once the baby is born we can file for divorce and do paperwork for child support, we still have 5 months to go. I am devastated, I want him to be opened minded about possibly giving our marriage one more try. He has refused marriage counseling. We each brought a child into the marriage. My daughter is 7 and his son is 13. I know that he is moved on and I suspect he is seeing someone, but I can't be for sure. He has never contacted me since he left and I just feel so broken and alone. I know we have our problems. I was very controlling and it pushed him away. I just pray that everything will work out in the end.

msmarkat143 07/11/2016

Im so sorry to hear this but I dont feel sorry for you I feel sorry for him, you will thrive survive and this shall pass smile and bealive in God bealive in life bealive in you because one day there will be the partner that God made for you to join your journey and u will smile again

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Thank You soooo much. :)

mirandac 07/11/2016

Are you attending therapy that helps
A lot with getting your head on straight.
I went to multiple support groups and
I attend church now too,

If he refused marriage counseling he is
Gone checked out. My ex went and it was
A joke but some good did come of it the
Therapist met alone with each of us, She
Told me to get out.

Congratulations on your new baby, my heart
Goes out to you at this time dealing with all
Of this. HUGS

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Thank you for the comment. Yes I started going to therapy last week. I have an appt tomorrow too. I have also started attending church. I still trust that God can change his heart. He is ordained, so I pray he comes to his senses lol.

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

He also said he is keeping his wedding ring on because we are still married. I think to myself if you are done why wear it!!

mirandac 07/11/2016

I am glad you are going to therapy having
A professional opinion that can validate you
Is so very helpful. They see the big picture
Whats in your best interest. HUGS

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Yup. Thank You :)

ClearDay1 07/11/2016

Arkgirl in His infinite wisdom he may be removing this guy for a reason. Sometimes rejection is God's protection. Maybe leave the outcome in God's hands and trust that whatever is occurring is for your higher good and that of your unborn child?

What could you be doing to take better care of yourself right now?

Frankly, anyone that would do this to me, especially while pregnant, u wouldn't want back.

Youre emotional well-being is now is his control. I would never allow that it my life again.

ClearDay1 07/11/2016

I wouldn't want back... sorry for typos

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Thank You Clearday1. I appreciate your feedback :) I agree about not wanting him back. I am just trying to convience myself to just let him go.

mirandac 07/11/2016

Thats why i love my therapist, she is looking at all
Sides of the equation. She never met my ex and
Has to take my word for some things. Keep taking
Care of you and the children, this is not good while
You are Pregnant its not unheard of though. I Don't
Know either of yours back stories even though You
both have other children. Maybe he will come to his
Senses. HUGS

11Christmases 07/11/2016

I am sorry this happened and it must be overwhelming. Please schedule a free consultation with an attorney, if you have not already. You have some tough decisions ahead of you, primarily, do you want this person in your child's life, do you want to file for divorce with grounds for abandonment, what type of custody arrangement, etc. Be sure you have documented the dates, his words (when he suggested adoption), the fact that he still has not contacted you. The more specific info you can provide the attorney, the better. Again, I am sorry this happened, but I feel the best thing to do is prepare yourself.

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

Thank you. He said he was going to file. I never thought about divorce due to abandonment. He will prob say irreconcilable curcumstances or something. In arkansas we cant get divorced until after the baby is born. I dont know if that is everywhere or just here.

arkgirl80 07/11/2016

He never left me high and dry. He still pays his stuff and keeps insurance on me although he has to bc we are still married. He is also helping with paying for baby appointments and going to the important appts. We find out the sex next week.

ClearDay1 07/11/2016

I know you hope for reconciliation. Omg, I wish I could make you see what I could not.

Please listen to 11christmases. You are allowing him to control everything.

You need an attorney. Abandonment is a HUGE issue and will effect the maintenance you receive.

Please think about this.

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