Sorry to hear your story it looks to me like you only have one choice to move forward to have a safe happy life for you and your kids ... this is not an easy road were on as I'm finding out however communicating with people who understand seems to be very helpful and everyone on this site has been a blessing to me ... there is a light at the end of the tunnel just keep heading that way

I am sorry for all your pain and hurt. Was that
A one time thing with the attack. My ex got
Real mean the more he Was looking at other
women.

Guilt and shame were his fuel. My ex was already
checked out/ emotionally disconnected before he
started looking. When they are checked out they
Made their decision long ago to leave you.

Therapy will help you a lot, joining support groups
like Divorce care, keep reaching out to loving caring
Supportive people.

Keep posting on here it helps to get it out. Sounds
Like it a bad sitution glad you are out. I hope you
And your children feel some peace and safety.
HUGS

Sorry to hear about your situation. I was married at a young age and divorced later on in life. It was an ugly divorce and I thought it was the end of my world. I had been with my ex-wife for a third of my life and it seemed as if I couldn't live life without her. I have been divorced for about 6 years now and have been recently re-married to a great woman. Life goes on... The main thing for you is to keep yourself safe and your kids safe. As time goes on, I feel you will do just fine. Thanks for sharing...

I am sorry you are going through such a confusing, hurtful and difficult time! It sounds like you did the right thing to protect yourself and your kids. Do you have supports for yourself and your kids as you are in this transitional phase? I agree with the other replies that getting into counseling will be helpful for all of you!
Divorce is never an easy thing, especially with your kind of situation. Focus on one day at a time; one step closer to healing. You showed immense strength to leave him. Not a lot of women have that kind of strength. Keep taking those steps of safety. You are setting a good example for your kids through all of this- showing them to stick up for themselves in terrible situations.

Thank you all for your support!! I have a huge amount of support here at home. His entire family is very very disappointed and do everything they can to help me. I also of course have my mother and sister who I live with now. I have started counseling and was referred by my counselor to join this group. We were very young and got married and started our family very quickly. We are now 30 yrs old and now I'm just tired of being unhappy. He literally took my joy and happiness away throughout the years. I'm ready to get that back.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how you are feeling I have been married to stbx for over 23 years and together for 25 years , We met at age 16 married at age 20 and had our first child 7 years later and our 2nd child 3 years after that. The marriage was not happy for me, abuse with words and then he also used his hands but I started to fight back when I had enough. He also had several affairs that he claims were all for attention and not sexual but hey an affair is an affair in my book and his words he will never do it again were just that.. words. I had a hard time with the start of the divorce and not as being a single mom as I took care of everything even when he was at home but the questions of why and how can someone give up so easy and not see what they have and want to change to keep it was beyond my ability to understand . I have found that being a part of this group is great and working and having family and friends. My children are my life and we are a team . I have my bad days and at times I still want the truth about his known last affair that he said he stayed at her house but in the guest room, Just does not add up but it is not my problem it is his and each day is ok others go to better . You will get through this just focus on you and the kids , Your spouse has issues that you can not fix and it is not your fault he has to get help for his issues and he may say he is sorry and he wont do it again but talk is cheap actions speak louder than words so pat yourself on the back for leaving. Hugs

Yeh the continuous lies bit him in the you know what.. I researched a little bit and well it all came out. Now everyone knows and he can no longer play Mr nice guy. He seems to think he can get away with being a horrible person but what goes around comes right back around and gets ya. I'm glad I was able to get away now it's just healing from here. Thank you all for listening to me ❤

I have never been married or divorced nor do I have children but I have been terribly abused and cheated on so I truly feel your pain of confusion, hurt, betrayal, and all the "whys". What has happened to you is not your fault. What your children have seen or witnessed is more cruel than the word cruel. Getting away is the start of a new chapter for you and road to recovery. Time will not take away the abuse but it will mask it. Abusers will always try to shine the light on them, never take responsibility, and brainwash anyone who dares defy their thought process. They will ALWAYS make the victim look like it's their fault when it never was their fault to begin with. Even though you met him when you were 18 and spent many years with him does not mean it was all for nothing - you probably learned so much about YOU and what you want in your life and in your children's; what a beautiful thing. Sometimes there are red flags, sometimes there aren't. It depends on who is looking and where they are looking. I would encourage you to be strong during this time and stay strong, even find a support group in your area. It's amazing that I read that you have family support. And with that, you can truly get through this and rise above.

If it's any consolation, I am 32 going back to school and trying to get my life back on track. We all have stories, beautiful ones and even though my abuser nearly ruined my life, I still won. Winning at life is rewriting your life for a better one. ❤ I hope this helped.