Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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playerapr 09/15/2011

My stbx is currently deployed to Afghanistan for a year so I suggested a legal separation agreement. He is gone so it wouldn't really affect leaving arrangements. The only reason that I suggested it was for financial reasons. I currently live inside an Army base, if we legally divorce I have to move and I really dont want to do that on my own, I lose all benefits that I'm going to lose anyways but it gives me time to prepared for it. I'm not looking for reconcialiation or stall what is inevitable, I'm just trying to think with my head instead of my heart. When I mentioned to my stbx he says "I have to think about it". It took some guts and a hurt in my pride to ask him cause I don't want him thinking that I'm stalling, that I'm secretly harboring some hope when I'm not, that I want to keep him around. I do still love him but I also now that we are emotionally done and divorce is just the legal termination of our marriage. With a hurt pride I'm waiting on his decision. Has anybody done a legal separation agreement before the final divorce agreement?

deleted_user 09/15/2011

I haven't because the situation was too volitile, but I think it makes perfect sense and it would be great if both people could let go with as little damage to the other as possible. I guess in a perfect world. I hope he's agreeable and doesn't make things harder than they have to be.

deleted_user 09/15/2011

I have it worked out good.

whiskeytangofoxtrot 09/15/2011

I currently have a legal separation. It is required by my state because we have children. We have to be separated for a year. With that, yes he continues to be considered my spouse by the military and recieves all benefits as they were. This will stay like this when I deploy in February until I return. Are your children his? If they are, they will maintain ALL benefits of the military except for the housing once you are legally divorced.

playerapr 09/15/2011

@ new and keegan - thanks for the comments!
@ whiskey - yes all 3 children are his, just trying to save and stay in housing while he is gone, I don't see the point of putting the kids through a move and the stress of the divorce while he is gone. By the end of the separation agreement he'll be back but it gives me sometime to stand on my own two feet. Thanks whiskey!!!!

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