Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife and I had our last and final joint counselling session. We were married just over 10 years. About a year and a half ago, I started an emotional affair with another woman. Sex was offered, but I declined. I told my wife what was happening two months into the relationship. Naturally, she blew up. We began a long road of therapy, counselling, anti-depressants (for me), psycho-therapy. Early into the recovery process, I said I would stop communicating with the woman and I did...up until 4 months ago. My wife found out that I started it up again and that's when we separated. During our final counselling session, she required that I stop communicating with the other woman. I had anticipated this, gave it alot of thought prior to the appointment, and finally said that I didn't want to do that. And, that has been the deciding factor in terminating our marriage.
So now, as is probably a common thread in this discussion group, I feel like I unloved, without friends, pathetic, and unbearably lonely. So lonely that I struggle to communicate the gravity of the feeling through words. I have friends, loved ones, etc., but it just doesn't feel real now.
The woman who I was in an emotional affair with is dating another man now and she seems happy. We' seeing eachother tomorrow night and I feel scared. I don't know what she expects to happen. She knows I want to be with her and I know she's attracted to me. She wants to be supportive, but, arghhh.
There's so much more to this story, but I've been thinking about it too much.
Hugs?
So now, as is probably a common thread in this discussion group, I feel like I unloved, without friends, pathetic, and unbearably lonely. So lonely that I struggle to communicate the gravity of the feeling through words. I have friends, loved ones, etc., but it just doesn't feel real now.
The woman who I was in an emotional affair with is dating another man now and she seems happy. We' seeing eachother tomorrow night and I feel scared. I don't know what she expects to happen. She knows I want to be with her and I know she's attracted to me. She wants to be supportive, but, arghhh.
There's so much more to this story, but I've been thinking about it too much.
Hugs?
Perhaps I misinterpreted the purpose of this site if it is to support only those who have been cheated on.
I read your journal. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me that it really isn't about the other woman so much as you feel that you can't break the destructive patterns of your marriage and maybe saying, 'no' to your wife's request to stop contact with the OW was a way of insuring she would end the marriage. A chance to 'stand up to her' so to speak. My personal opinion after seeing a number of friends and acquaintances have affairs is an affair is not the cause of martial breakdown but rather a symptom of a troubled relationship.
Of course, you feel scared, lonely and pathetic. We all do while going through a divorce - even those of us who chose to left the marriage. I had many a day where everything felt 'surreal' for lack of a better word. It's is disorienting to be suddenly 'not married' after many years identifying yourself as a married person. It will get better but it is a roller-coaster ride. So strap in and hold on tight. Stay in counseling if you can, it can be of a lot of help. Good luck.
What can you do for me? Start with being a man. Finish your relationship with your WIFE before you start one with someone else, who incidentally, is with someone else!
(B) Everything else you said (and did) seems self-serving.
Sorry - but not having it here.
If you left your marriage FOR this woman..you are likely to continue to feel the way you are feeling for quite some time..sounds like she has moved on.
If your marriage had problems that could not be fixed..regardless of this woman..there is a little more hope for you. The marriage is ending and you will be free to find a new relationship.
It would have been so much better if you had not involved someone else in the reason for the breakup of your marriage. Don't expect your stbx to be very nice to you for a while..this kind of thing creates a lot of anger..guess you have figured that out by now.