LeeKay,

I'm sorry for your pain and all of the emotions you're undoubtedly feeling at this time. I have been where you are now. I was married to my ex cheating husband for 26 years. I am now 6 years out and remarried.

While I was going through everything, I felt as though I would never be happy again. I have come so far and now am glad for the divorce. I still have minimal residual from the experience, but I'm so much happier than when I was with ex.

I can't imagine still living in the same house while going through the separation. I feel for you. I am here if you need to talk. If you want to private message me, that is okay too.

Hang in there!

Hi LeeKay,

You're the first person whose issue I've chimed in on. I'm in the same situation and feel for you. My wife filed for divorce in March and we're still under the same roof and will continue to be indefinitely - we have two kids and a mortgage and aren't in the position to make a move. All we can do is be parents to our kids and stay out of each others way. All I can hope is that the many charged feelings we have subside and the emotional rollercoaster has passed its peak and begins to come to a stop. I hope the same for you. Reach out whenever you're in need - things are always changing so, though it may feel like it, this won't last forever.

To add to the drama. I'm his Social security rep payee. Which means I'm legally responsible for where the money goes and he thinks I'm lying about it. He wants me to give him all the money when it comes in, but I can't. He has rightfully been found incapable of handling his finances. This causes us the most conflict. I wish we could just be friends. But he's mad and blames me for the breakup. I guess if I really think about it, it is my fault. Because I refuse to put up with his nonsense. Thanks for reading my rant. This really does help.

If at all possible, get out there f that legal responsibility. Turn it over to someone else.

Move out and away from him if you want to move on with your life.

LeeKay, I wouldn't call your post or response a rant. It feels so good to communicate with others who know your pain. You're just expressing your feelings and that's a good thing. It's healthy.

Have you filed for divorce? Any idea of how long you're going to have to reside in the same house? Can you turn over the legal responsibility to someone else, like jimthzz suggested? Do you have children together? -- Yes, this is 50 questions.

You say your STBX cheated 6 times in 3 years; how was life before that?

I've seen three lawyers and finally picked one I'm confident in. But I've not filed yet. SOON!
We are working on getting the house on the market, but we both need to stay here until it sales.
I'm working on turning over legal responsibility.
Our kids are grown with kids. So we have grandkids (LOVE THEM!!)
He has always been selfish, controlling and mean.

I am glad you found a lawyer. My ex wanted to do
it ourselves and save money he would be fair. I did
not trust him and said NO, he had a GF and it was
not a mutual split. He filed on me days later so then
We Had two lawyers and it took 10 months Start to
finish, my lawyer watched my back financially and
Legally from him, HUGS

I lived with my ex for one year after filing. I stayed out of his way the best I could, he just did whatever he wanted. It was really hard, he didn't want to be civil, he just wanted to pretend nothing was happening. My ex also devastated us financially, and he is holding up the sale of the house, has for the last month, by withholding necessary documents. I would not be surprised if the buyer's walk. Do your best to make sure you have all of the paperwork in order to sell your house, you don't want any unnecessary holdups. Some people just can't be trusted with responsibility, and they have no qualms about dragging us down with them.

If I did it for a year, you can do it till your house sells!! Keep your head up, I think you will find that the grass will be greener on the other side for you!

I'm in the same situation....asked for a divorce in February...he only GOT a lawyer in June!
We have 2 teenage girls and I'm worried how affects them. We don't fight...literally don't talk unless I bring something up.

He wants to be paid out for the house, but is blaming me for delays. States he doesn't have money to do things with his kids yet spends all days off away from the house doing "something else".

My worry is the kids don't have stability and expectations from their parents' home...

I'm hopeful for a quicker resolution.

Hoping u can remove yourself soon. Hugs!

@whereislove, Given what you've written, it looks like YOU have to be the one to provide the stability for your girls, given the circumstances. You can't control his actions, just yours, so make certain that they always see you doing the right thing.

My ex is always crying poverty, yet he lives rent free with his mom, golfs at least once a week, goes out to eat every day at least once, and he makes much more than me. I'm paying the mortgage, barely making ends meet, while he's holding up the sale of our house. Watch your back. My ex is passive aggressive and will do everything in his power to hold up progress to make me suffer, even at his own expense. Seeing how your ex doesn't communicate, maybe he is in a similar emotional condition as my ex. I feel for you, if that's the case.

Wow, six times, once would have been enough for me to have gotten the message, you deserved to be treated better than that, I'm pleased to hear you now think so too, guess who the loser is?

I feel for you. I recently went through something similar and would hide in my bedroom with the pets every night. Hang in there, Hugs!