Im sorry you and your husband are going though this. Keep going for help for the lying disorder and hopefully you will find out why you are showing this behavior and can learn to stop and tell the truth.
Relationships are tangled webs. Many things come into play. PEople work around each others behaviors, explore different moves like in a chess game and dont always think of the consequences no matter what age. Keep coming here. I hope things get better for you

I also hope things get better for you - 24 yrs is a long time..How long did you have this disorder? Maybe a break from youir marriage is what is needed....

twig

I have learn from therapy that this disorder started in my childhood.

I do not know how old I was, when my mother told me I was the unwanted child. I was hurt very deeply when she said that. My parents did not want anymore children because they already had four children. I was told this all the time. So I started creating stories of valor and great deed about myself all the time. Now I know this has created a huge problem in my life.

Hi qunnice: It's a positive move that you are in treatment. Right now, don't focus on your husband and instead focus on you.

I so want you to know that in this world you are an individual unlike any other and that is what makes you so unique and so wonderful. You are the only one of you and that makes you so precious. Parents have been abusive to others here, including me, I understand what parents can do to a child.

I also understand that we can fight through that and change our adult lives. please continue wiht your treatment and remember that your parents are no here so you don't have to lie to us. We accept you. Many, many hugs.

Several thoughts . . .

Keep up your treatment--that as much as anything else will establish that you are serious about turning things around.
Give your husband and yourself space--the single best strategy for the spouse who does not want the divorce is to give the other spouse the freedom to decide. That is love of the highest order. So don't pressure him, and let it be.
If he has not been honest with you, confront him but gently. Remind him that the lying does not begin and end with you.
Lastly, find something to smile about. These are supposed to be happy holidays. This is not the end of the world--look at the separation as an opportunity to begin anew.

I just want to say thank you to freeagain, twiggy123, astimegoesb, and backshore your encouraging words has help me a whole lot.

I will keep up with my treatment, I have learn a lot about myself since I been in treatment.

Hi, my mother actually told me she tried to abort me, what a lovely thing to say to a 5 year old....she told me when she found out she was pregnant, she jumped off a chair....It really never bothered me, because that was the past...What bothered me was her continuous abuse until I got married and away from her.....Now my husb is the abuser...I spent 3500 on a lawyer and fired him because he was going to drain me dry....looking for another lawyer.

twig

also, continue your treatment, don't worry about your husband, he will have to pay alomony.