Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I finally decided to join a dating app last week as I have been feeling a lot better lately. I'ts been hard enough as most of my conversations with people go nowhere and I am not finding anyone attractive, but to rub salt in the wound, I saw my ex on there this morning. As I read his profile it made me angry as he mentioned things he likes in it that he never even mentioned once in our relationship. He also described himself as a "laid back Texan" and he was truly the most un laid back person that I've known (if youve read any of my past posts you would know he picked everything about me apart, could never sit still, and had tons of goals that involved material things.) He also has not lived in Texas since he was 14 or 15 and he is now 34 years old. It all just seems so fake! It made me feel sick, sad and angry as this is the person I had fallen for and he is out there and will make other girls fall for him and tell them he loves them 6 weeks in like he did to me. It brought back all the feelings of anger again of feeling like I fell for a sociopath.
Another thing is, if he is on an app here where I live (it pulls people from a 25 mile radius), it means he did not go to his military training he was trying to get clearance for, for our whole relationship which was supposed to be half way across the country. He was going to be gone 3-4 months. This looming training dictated everything about our relationship...the pace, the timing, money, etc. One of the first things he told me when we started dating was that he had submitted paperwork when we first met, to do a voluntary training to learn to fly a new plane so he could be stationed closer to home for his reserve job. He had this whole plan of how the relationship would work....he would fly me out on the weekends, he would visit here a few times, we would make the roadtrip together to drive him out there. I saved all my vacation time and money for this. He finally got his clearance to go the day before we broke up in early May....and he is still here. It upsets me that something that was never going to happen dictated everything about the relationship, something I never felt happy about, but was accepting because I loved him and we had promise of a future together.
Is there anyone else out there who has experienced this at this stage of a breakup? how did it make you feel?
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Of course you have every right to feel betrayed, but you've got to get him out of your head. You have no control over his thoughts and actions, what he promised and what he actually delivered.
Think of a devastating hurricane and how it might rip your house apart. After the storm, you are sad, angry, scared - all of those emotions are swirling. But you have to clean up the debris and rebuild your home. Same with your heart. The relationship is gone and over but you have to rebuild. You don't want to keep reliving the past just as you don't want to keep remembering the hurricane.
You need your head space for positive things, good people, uplifting and inspirational thoughts.
Your feelings are very understandable. Have you ever looked for speed-dating events in your area? I never ended up going on a date with anyone I chatted with online, but I had a couple of matches the first time I went speed dating. I recommend both that, and local meetup groups, as a way to get out there, keep your social skills polished, feel good about yourself, and meet new people. You will look back one day and laugh about his online dating profile.