Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Need help, since about November 2016 I started to notice change in my husbands attitudes and behavior. Not wanting sex, very upset for everything. Suspecting an infidelity but had no prove. He would deny it and would put the blame on the kids, on how naughty they were.
Finally one night I used a gps app we both had in our phones and found out he was not where he was saying he was. Since I'm not good with directions and honestly thought he was telling me the thruth when I confronted him. Than same night having sex he pushed me away when I wanted to kiss him on the lips. Could not sleep and decided to look in his phone. Found messages with a woman. They had been seeing each other for lunch exchagingn gifts and he was very flirtatious with her. I was consumed with anger, sadness and shock. Did not know what do to how to react.
My first gut feeling was to confront him. He denied everything and then said he was done with our marriage and that he was leaving me.
He said he was leaving me and staying with the other woman. Said he could not talk anymore and went back to sleep. I was left numb. my world crumbling inside my hands like sand and had no idea how.
I talked to 2 friends and they were upset and said things about his behavior and reaction
He found out about it and now he turned everything on me saying I was the one that finished the marriage by talking to others and by looking at his phone
he he calm down a few days later accepted counseling denied an infidelity and says it was just a friendship
now he won't touch me and says he can't forgivebthe fact that i went in his phone and talked to others about him and my suspicions
Said he needed a break took a week came back home and since that it has been 3 months he still says he can't forgive me
I think we will end up in divorce I can't be more patient can I? He does not want to see it was his behavior what made me lose trust and had to check his phone
he does not realize he is blaming me for something he was already doing and that I had to confirm
only people that go through this understand the insanity infidelity brings to a person
why can't he see he is wrong? Why blame everything on me?
Please help
He's trying to flip the script on you to avoid his own feelings of guilt.
Until he comes clean, there's nothing you can do in my opinion.
We can't force others to be honest, but he wouldn't be in my bed anymore that's for sure.
I wouldn't want him back, but that's me. I'm like that. I just don't want to deal with the lies and drama.
I don't know if I am making sense.
Unless he confesses, then dearie, there is nothing much you can do right now but to just wait for it.
My ex and I used to exchange phones for days and in my experience I can tell the best feeling is when the other person is open as a book then and only then you can trust fully.
Also you are right woman, the trust broke and now it will take a really long time to trust again. In my case I would never trust 100% again because i'm so insecure but hope everything goes well.
But never forget!!! His infidelity was not your fault at all... and if you talk to your friends about it he should just tell you don't involve 3rd parties but he is taking everything to blame you and not take responsibility. Which is wrong in all the ways, whenever he blames you just reply "You shouldn't have been talking flirtatious with another woman in the first place" that's all and end conversation. Don't let him blame you for stuff he did.
Good luck :)
Do not let him to make you a guilty party. This is exactly what he does. He is at fault, he has to take responsibility. He does not want to..bcs there is another woman.
His family is on his side, his mother barely talked to me and says how could I go so low? me? low? she does nto consider that and infidelity and is helping him feel empowered I was not able to tell anyone and I am afraid to talk to people, have to come to this anonymous chat and he alaredy went to all his family so that I dont go with my "crazines" to them.
I told him he has until May 1st to decide whether he is going to fight for this marriare and family, he needs to be sincere honest and open up to me otherwise he is free to go.
made his decision awhile ago to go outside the marriage
and disrespect You. The Marital bond has been broken
along with Any and all trust and faith.
Without respect there Is no love they go hand in hand if
you love someone you respect them.
Some Try to work thru it with total transparency, total no
Contact of the third party involved, both working hard toward
reconciliation in a mature fashion.
Many still can not Make it, even if all that is in play they just
can not trust them again not to cheat. Once the mind set is
There and they like the high, chances are they will not stop
Seeing, sexting, communicating with the affair partner, you
Will know soon enough, HUGS
And he had a hard heart toward me. Whether it ever
Got physical it does not matter. He was still cheating.
His first go around He had an emotional attachment
and flirted and texted. That ended After i made a big
stink. She lived across the street.
Then this other woman he went Underground with. He
was quiet for the whole year. The three of them were
buddies from AA. He eventually asked for a divorce so
he could have a better relationship with his friend, HUGS
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would get away from him and not consider giving him a second chance unless he did a complete turn around. You deserved so much better!!!
Honestly. Give the guy an Oscar and move on. Don't take this garbage seriously.