Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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llmt 08/27/2009

You know I was handling things well enough recently...actually in the mad stage (which is good for me) but a friend of his and mine came to see us today...and we sat and chatted (his wife cheated on him and they are since divorced) and I broke down. All the fucking rotten feelings of betrayal...adultery..etc. just came flooding back right now and I'm a bawling mess. I asked him if my H wanted a divorce and he said NO he really didn't think so but it will have to happen b/c you will never trust him and doesn't think this could be reconciled. I agree, which is why I'm a bawling mess. His friend said the OW is a dirty whore (insert smile here) and my H knows it. I think he knows he's made the biggest mistake. I told him about the concert and the OW texting me...and he said my H was pissed, actually shaking. His friend said to him see what you are getting into...she will just screw with you wife to be nasty. I need her gone. I told his friend that my H repulses me and disgusts me and that I am only here for these boys right now. His friend told him he NEEDS to move on and get out and get an apt so everyone can heal. Hope my H takes his advice. I've tried but he won't leave. I don't know...I'm in such a state right now..the fetal position actually just sobbing. I hate him for doing this to me and the boys. I know I need to suck it up but I cannot right now...I just cannot.

deleted_user 08/27/2009

I am so sorry honey.... we are here, there are no magic words to make this better, however, I am happy to see that you have come to the conclusion that you would not be able to forgive him and reconcile.....

Hugs for strength!

directingpond 08/27/2009

hugs- I'm so sorry you're in this situation!

deleted_user 08/27/2009

(((((((((((((((((((((LLMT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Aw honey....embrace this pain. Cry it out, allow the anger but do not stay there too long. The grass was not greener for him and the trust has been shattered. Now, if you think that there is a chance, then, I would get some counseling first....as he needs his own counseling and then, entertain it. But, given the history, I would take a realistic approach. Infidelity is a criminal act in the world of matrimony/monogamous relationships. We are here...cry, scream, breathe and uncurl. We are here no matter what your next steps are.

llmt 08/27/2009

Naw....it's just me having a moment...and hearing stuff from his friend brings it all back. He has screwed up and knows it. I know I could never trust him again. tried the counselling for 8 months and he just lied to the counsellor and me..so what was/is the point. Again, just having a moment just the fact of the history (19 year tog, 12 married) and what we share/d. I'll be ok later.

deleted_user 08/27/2009

hon, theres nothin to suck up..ya just feel lousy and cry and scream til you are done - just part of the whole process

i wasnt a fetal position cryer - i was a sit in the middle of the kitchen floor screaming WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Y person

deleted_user 08/27/2009

((((((((((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))))))))))

deleted_user 08/27/2009

Haven't we all had those flash back moments? If he wont leave then you need to find a way too. If I remember youre waiting on a job? Well nothing like a new place to get a new start. Saved me - sorta. I'll tell you my STBX has dragged thing out nearly a year and it keep the pain fresh. If you want an end push your ass off to get it. Once the end comes the healing begins.

((hugs))

deleted_user 08/27/2009

I'm just so sorry for you. I understand the terrible pain you're going through and I hate that any of us have to go through it. It's more horrible than anything I could have imagined. I told someone the other day that the only way this could have been worse is if he had died. He's taking part of me out of this house piece by piece. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and get tired of hearing it will get better. Right now, I just want to wallow in my grief.

(((HUGS))) to you. We should all be living in a commune or something ;)

solongbye 08/27/2009

I swear when you write it is like I'm reliving it all over again. He got what he deserves and I hope she makes him miserable. My ex is actually worse now that he's hooked up with the pcw so I understand that part.

I'm so sorry that these things hurt so bad. Lying, cheating bastard, we should all be allowed just one kill, that would make life fair.

mkcoleman 08/27/2009

Its a painful thing to have to be cheated on... I'm sorry it happened to you... I cried so much. Its OK to let all out! It helps... (((HUGS)))

deleted_user 08/27/2009

(((((LLMT)))) sorry today was so hard. :(

deleted_user 08/28/2009

Huge hugs to you ((((LLMT)))). Sorry today was so hard.

llmt 08/28/2009

Well last nite carried over to today...I'm just f'in sick of it, sick of feeling like this, I just cannot take any more..cannot. I want my H...my life back..my children to have 2 parents together...all of it...I wish I could turn back time (like most of us) and just never know...I wish I never found those emails or ever did anything when I did...just put them away and he would never know. Maybe we would be in a better place now. F**K!!!!

deleted_user 08/28/2009

You know better than that.

all that would be different is that he would be having an affair and you would be clueless..

its better off this way.

I can empathize with Eyeball, my ex has gotten horribly worse since she left, the first few months it really seemed like she just needed to square her head away... then it seems that she jumped into her new life and away she goes... now she is done with me and my daughter and doesn't want anything to do with it... if she thought for a second that I'd let her get away with it, she wouldn't even pay child support.

llmt 08/28/2009

Don't know I keep thinking that if I never found them...life would be easier and maybe we would just acknowledge it was/wasn't working and no one would be the wiser....what was written was by far the most hurtful and damaging stuff I've ever read...it wasn't just normal conversation..it was everything that I shared with him...he went and told her and then fluffed it up a lot to make me look like some psycho. God, they are so made for each other...they can just go on and lie themselves silly. Too bad he's such a hypocrite when he tells my 6 year old NOT to lie.

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