Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Rollercoaster

jaclyn1973
jaclyn1973
I am so ready for this roller coaster to be over. I set goals and make plans and feel like I am making real progress. An hour later I am missing him so much, I dont know what to do.

I am getting ready to move out of town partly to get completely away from him. He's not going to know when I left or where I went. I know I am doing the right thing and I think "you are getting there. you are finally getting there". But when I remember it also means that I will never see him again; never have any contact with him again, it hurts so very much. Why should it hurt so much when you are doing the right thing? And I know that it's going to hurt me much more than it will hurt him.

The intention is to completely free myself from him. It's not about hurting him. Still it sucks to know that it wont bother him at all. Even though what I am doing, I am doing FOR myself, not against him. So tired of this ride. Tired of feeling like this.
milliejay
milliejay
The way you feel is normal and part of the process. Occupy your mind with plans about your future and your new life without him. The only way to start getting better is to focus on getting over the whole situation as if your life depended on it (and it does). I know how you feel and I can relate - don't fight those feelings, just stay focused on your move and over time you will feel more stable.

Good luck.
vawmcole
vawmcole
Milliejay is right. Once you start focusing on yourself and your future, you start to feel much better. Whenever I think of my STBX, my spirit goes down. However, when I put him out of my mind and start thinking about things that benefit my sons and I, I feel better. It is a long, hard process, but we will survive it in the end. Stay strong.
kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77
Your ability to pull up stakes and physically move will help you in the long run. Out of sight out of mind. Remember thousands of people go through this everyday, we will get through it and be stronger for it! Good luck on your move, its the right move!
ALD13072
ALD13072
Jaclyn - this process is very normal. At first the roller coaster will have a million peaks and valleys but eventually over time they become fewer and far between. I often think of it as one step forward, three steps back...but you are still moving forward!

Good for you for moving and establishing a new life on your own!
Good luck with the move!
jaclyn1973
jaclyn1973
Thanks all. Monday is my last day at work here-they have already posted my job and when I look at the ad I think "Dear God, what have I done?' Still, it's for the best. I think. I hope. Tuesday I will start packing and doing the things I need to do to leave town. Have to be out of my apt the end of July.
Not completely sure yet where I am going and what I will be doing. Some of those who had offered me a place to stay have backed out. Just taking it one day at a time.
11Christmases
11Christmases
Best of luck on the new chapter in your life!
panther99
panther99
I am going through the same thing. One minute you feel strong, the next you're doubting yourself.. One minute happy.. the next crying. It's exhausting. Everyone says it's all part of this process but it stinks ..royally. Just ride it out. It's great you are making a fresh start! Not having the physical proximity to him or memory triggers will help immensely in your healing. You are brave for making such a bold change.. good for you!
Kathiey
Kathiey
I know it hurts and yes it is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. That is what I am trying to do. Hang in there,
Kathiey
deleted_user
deleted_user
Take each day as it comes and good things will happen for you. I still feel like I'm on the roller coaster of emotions and I'm sure many others are too, it takes time to move on from a loved one, no matter how good/bad it ended with them.