thats a tough one.. and honestly I think a very personal choice.. I have both my rings and his.. he originally wanted them said 'I want our kids to have them when they get older if they want..'.. and I said 'fine, I'll keep them until the kids get older then..' I was NOT giving him my ring.. I wouldn't put it past him for a second to give MY ring to another woman.. as horrible and hard to stomach that thought is.. so bottom line I have all 3 rings, and like you their in a drawer.. my ex NEVER wore his ring.. its practically brand new, his reasoning was it wasn't safe on the job, and in the job handbook it does specify NO jewlery (he's a welder for the railroad).. and one bad crush and his finger could be amputated, I get that.. but other husbands found a way of managing to put their rings back on AFTER their shifts... apparently mine ex couldn't be bothered with it.. so his ring really means nothing.. but mine I never took off until we were over.. and I STILL find myself moving my thumb over to try to play with it.. habit :)

if you want to throw it in the ocean, and you think that will give you closure, then I say do it.. my ex and I were also married on the beach.. I haven't set foot on that beach since I've moved back to the area.. but I refuse to let that memory keep me from going to a place I enjoy..

before you make that last throw.. ask your daughter if she would like you to keep it for her.. you never know, it may mean more to her.. it may not.. keep your head up Stepping ((hugs))

I took mine to the pawn shop yesterday....none I went to were interested.....as too old and not a good seller

I ended up giving both to a homeless guy

I feel good and yes it did help

Wow murphy, that is an interesting idea!! I will seriously consider giving the ring to someone needy. Hmm. Making something positive out of something that has become so negative. I will ponder it. Thanks for your input.

MNN, thanks for your well considered thoughts.

I wrote a response about how I wouldn't want my daughter using THIS ring for her own wedding, and later realized that that's probably not what you meant. I guess a kid might want to keep it as a memento of the original family unit (before destroyed by lies and infidelity - sorry, couldn't resist). That makes more sense.

But I still don't know. This marriage and now divorce have become so toxic to me that I want to flush it out of my life to the extent possible. And I really can't because ex is daughter's mother. God how I wish I could remove ex from my life entirely. Anyway, I have been throwing away things she gave me. I am also slowly replacing wedding registry items that I have ended up with in the split. I want NOTHING related to her. So the ring is really one of the biggest items that needs to go. I'm not sure I could keep it around, even to give it to my daughter. This is something that (supposedly) meant lifelong commitment. If I were to give it to her I'd almost want to cut it in half first. No, I think the better thing is to just be rid of it for my own sake and not expose my daughter to the process in any way.

I may need to do this thing (getting rid of the ring; destination undecided for now) for me. My daughter can't appreciate it at her age, and with what (little) she knows about the situation. This is all so hard. I just want it to be over.

we need a 'like' button :) like I said.. its a very personal decision.. you need to figure out what scenario works best for you and can give you the closure your looking for ((hugs))

Many of my friends wanted the ring....but I could not bare to see it on someone else.
So doing something positive for that homeless guy really did feel so good and was liberating for me

Do it! :)

You could fling it into the ocean or you could check out a reputable jeweler and see if they would give you something for it. Giving it to the needy is one option or you could cash in the ring and give the money to a charitable organization. I gave my collection of Vermont Teddy Bears (that the ex gave me) to a charitable foundation that gives the bears to kids when they have to go through a forensic interview. These interviews take place when a child has been sexually or physically abused and apparently the Teddy Bears make them feel better. It felt good to do that.

It might not be worth much but maybe you could use the money to take someone out on a date or spend it frivolously on yourself.

I still have my wedding and engagement ring. Eventually I think I will just try to see what I can get for both and do something fun for me.

Good luck

I just took my wedding rings off today and I am not nearly ready to rid of them yet.....but if I were....then selling it just wouldnt do much for me mentally. I like the idea of ridding yourself of it somehow and Gloucester is beautiful and maybe if you return the ring to the ocean you will be able to start seeing the beaches beauty again.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

I still have mine, it's tucked somewhere that I won't see it. I can't part with it, just can't...at least for now. I remember clearly the day I took it off to never put it back on. I had huge hopes that my now ex would come back to me and I wanted to make it a special occasion when he put it back on my finger, guess that's not gonna happen.

I still have my ring from my first marriage but since we have a daughter together, I will give it to her one day.

If you don't need the money then I think you should go ahead and have your little throwing it away party. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I finally sold mine 1 month ago (wedding bands and engagement ring). My ex wanted them back but I told him he's not getting them back. I gave some money to the poor and the rest I will spend on a much needed vacation. For now I have the 1st Anniversary ring.

This decision is different for everyone. Take your time to think about it and do what you believe is best for you to move on.

I must say it was rewarding for me to help the poor. It felt good.

Hugs to you in whatever decision you make.

I had the same question a while back also. Mine sat in my truck for months. Some of the great ideas I heard were to;

- Bury it and hold a funeral for it
- Have a jeweler melt it down and make something new
- Tie it to a balloon and let it go
- Keep it for your kids, but have someone else keep it unitl they are old enough
- Drop it off a bridge into a river

Just some ideas.

please don't do anything right now.

You're a parent. And the first rule of being a parent is to hold yourself.

When you're in a state of high emotion, don't do anything! Do nothing. Hold yourself. Never do anything unless you have come to a state of logic and calm. All emotion expressed.

You live any other way you'll hurtle from blunder to blunder. Like a rube goldberg machine pinging off one thing onto another for life.

It's probably how you got to where you are. It certainly has to end in order to become the master of your own destiny.

So sit on that ring as a symbol of your learning. And when this year is over, you can look at it and decide what you will do with it.

JMHO. :p

Bridgie - its so interesting how you've resurrected this post from almost 2 years ago.. i'd be curious what eventually did happen to those rings.. mine are still in the same drawer where I put them almost 2 years ago.. gathering dust, and not a thought in my mind - in the very best way : )

Hi Bridgie, thanks for the comment. It has been about 1.5 years since I wrote the original post. I'm sure people are waiting breathlessly to hear what became of my wedding ring.....

(suspense)
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It's still in the same drawer it was in when I wrote the original post!! :) So I suppose I took your advice - in advance.

And I'm STILL not sure what I want to do with it. Previous ideas floated by me and others on this topic remain in play. I'm not ready for a decision yet. So it can wait.

There is too much life to be lived in the meantime for me to dwell on it. :) And that, I imagine, is a sign of progress between then and now! That and the decreased degree of emotion that I feel about the whole thing. There is still some background pain and feelings of betrayal, etc. But it's background, and infrequent. Big progress.

So to anyone reading this thread in the present, Feb 2017, and still immersed in the visceral hurt early in the process, I say:
(1) Don't do anything with that wedding ring just yet... better to wait, and
(2) It really WILL get better - I am living proof. Even when it feels like it won't... It will.