Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I separated from my husband 3 yrs ago. Came back because my youngest(only one left at home) didn't want to leave her childhood home. My husband wouldnt leave. I returned and things were great. Once again, I am the bread winner, I pay the bills, I do the laundry, I grocery shop, I cook, I clean. I am there for our 3 daughters...i take care of their college loans, all schooling, doctors appts, etc. All i asked for in return is to be treated nicely. He doesn't have weekends off, so I'm alone. I do everything and have been resenting again. Last night was so small but a breaking point. At a bbq, he couldn't save me a seat, nor wait to start eating. When I approached, my brother in law figured it out and I went and got my own chair. Listened to everyone speak about their travels...we've never taken a honeymoon, let alone a trip anywhere together. We have no money. Tonight I said I think we need to talk. He went off on me for 10 minutes without me saying a word. I think I'm stupid for being here again. I don't matter. Any thoughts???
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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It's been some time since my last post...sorry. I've been going through a challenging time with the sale of my home, purchase of a condo and my adult asperger son that lives with me. I've had days where I couldn't get out of bed, days where I stayed in my pj's and days where all I managed to do was eat, drink fluids and take care of my Sweet Mia kitty. Sweet Mia came to me from a shelter about...
- Is there anyway you can get the house?
- He will ALWAYS be this man! No matter what! Do not lash out. Its time to get the house, move your daughters back in and get him out.
-However this is tough, don't react to him based off our response its not a good idea.
As you're the main breadwinner and do everything for the house and your girls, you'll have to be the one to instigate the divorce, and maybe do all of the paperwork for it too. It can be done (I did it), you can do this. We lived one year together during the divorce - excruciating - where I pretty much holed myself up in rooms away from him while he was home - ugh, it was degrading because he wouldn't budge and I couldn't stand the sight of him any longer. As far as your daughter, she'll have to adjust. At 15, she's no little girl, she should be able to understand that it's not a healthy home when mom and dad are only living together for her. The airplane/oxygen analogy is a good one. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be done. It may even be that you'll get the house in the end, so she'll have her childhood home, but no guarantees there.
Once my ex realized he couldn't afford to pay the taxes by himself on the new dream home he/we/he built, he suddenly wanted the old home for himself and for me to live in the new one. Nope, not happening. I knew before I even signed the divorce complaint that I wanted to keep the old home, it's little but it is where my boys grew up, and I wanted to keep it for them, for stability. And stability for me. Now, he's living at his mom's house (ha, ha), we're selling the dream house (ha, ha), and the boys and I are in our little old home (yay). Remember, you need to save yourself first.