So, the STBX and I have really never discussed the Facebook messages and text messages I found between him and one of our female friends. Nor have we discussed the pages and pages of text messages her husband found which led him to install hidden cameras and spyware on her phone and computer. She had three or four alias accounts they used to attempt to hide from her husband once he caught on. Not too much to talk about, I saw all I needed to know in the messages between them. Anyway, I severed all romantic relations with my husband and he moved into his own room. We are roommates and have a daughter together. Trust me I know, the roommate deal will almost certainly not last. Anyway, he has sent me millions of texts about how sorry he is and yada yada yada. Just going by the texts, a reasonable person might think that my STBX is a somewhat decent guy who screwed up and is sorry. I never really see Captain Sorry with my eyes, I only see texts from him. Today I put him on the spot and asked him to talk to me about it. It was a complete circu. Captain Sorry didn't show up. There was no telling me that he was so stupid and didn't realize how much he had to lose and please please please forgive him. I am his everything. Yada Yada Yada. I think it is much easier for him to portray Captain Sorry via text. So today he says they were just friends and didn't cross any lines. What??????? For 2.5 months you have been telling me that you didn't realize what you had to lose and that you were wrong and hope I can forgive you and now you are telling me you didn't cross any lines????? You told her you wanted to see her beautiful face next to yours and you didn't cross any lines????? What fucking world do you live in?

Anyway, I guess there must be some part of me that had been affected by the text messages or I wouldn't be so pissed when Captain Obvious showed up today. I haven't been mad or cried for over a month. I knew I still had grieving days ahead of me, but man, this one just showed up fast and slapped me in the face. I am such a dumbshit! I asked him how he felt about using 3 or 4 different fake accounts to hide the messages from her husband and he said he hadn't really thought about that. What??????? What kind of person does that? God, if I ever think he has a shred of decency, please slap me. I am the dumbest fucker EVER! I know I am on a rant. probably all sorts of typos and stuff that can't even be understood. Plus, I am not exactly Iyanla right now. Oh well. Where is that send button? There it is. Poof, for the whole world to see how nuts I am!!!!!!