Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I really worry that I am going to wear out my welcome here because everyone has been so good to me. I can't believe how much time everyone has given to me in order to help me through the pain.
As many of you know, my ex works for me as my office manager. When she ran off with my best friend, there was no doubt she was gone from my life and so was he. The problem is that she came back to work the next Monday almost as if nothing was wrong. She was just no longer with me but him. Me, being the asshole that I am, felt I needed her bad enough at the office and feeling scared and empty... let her continue working there.
I was doing a bit better just leaving our conversations to "work only" and taking xanax 3 times a day.... something I hate to rely on. In anycase, I have this anger building up in my system all frickin day and I am going to explode.... its just a matter of time. When she comes into my office I feel like screaming. My thought was that I would find something or someone to distract me but that hasn't heppened yet.
Today, I was 100% focused on work and never said one thing to her about her and I but the anger is actually building building building. I snapped at my son for no reason and I know its because I don't let out my anger. I can't let this happen. I have to let her go and do the right thing by way of the Dept. of Labor soon or I will forever be miserable.
Please tell me its ok to feel this way. I am not an angry person so these feelings make me want to cry...
I need someone to lean on that will tell me I am going to be ok. I hate this feeling so bad.... It was all just a waste...
Jim :(
As many of you know, my ex works for me as my office manager. When she ran off with my best friend, there was no doubt she was gone from my life and so was he. The problem is that she came back to work the next Monday almost as if nothing was wrong. She was just no longer with me but him. Me, being the asshole that I am, felt I needed her bad enough at the office and feeling scared and empty... let her continue working there.
I was doing a bit better just leaving our conversations to "work only" and taking xanax 3 times a day.... something I hate to rely on. In anycase, I have this anger building up in my system all frickin day and I am going to explode.... its just a matter of time. When she comes into my office I feel like screaming. My thought was that I would find something or someone to distract me but that hasn't heppened yet.
Today, I was 100% focused on work and never said one thing to her about her and I but the anger is actually building building building. I snapped at my son for no reason and I know its because I don't let out my anger. I can't let this happen. I have to let her go and do the right thing by way of the Dept. of Labor soon or I will forever be miserable.
Please tell me its ok to feel this way. I am not an angry person so these feelings make me want to cry...
I need someone to lean on that will tell me I am going to be ok. I hate this feeling so bad.... It was all just a waste...
Jim :(
but, that is only temporary. get her out of there or dump the business.
I tell you what - I'll be your office manager...I'm very smart. LOL -
Seriously though - you need to do this for you. Just tell her she's fired - you can't have her at the office everyday.
I've also been really angry about being cheated on. Running helps me. It relaxes my body.
Definitely let her go. Talk to the legal counsel how to do it. It seems she has few morals and you do not need another problem. If she had any sense of respect, frankly she would quit on her own knowing that it is the right thing to do.
Hang in there. Express your grief and anger. Love your kids.
Do things like
Change her name plate to CHEATING SPOUSE or BEST FRIEND STEALER... and see how long it takes her to figure it out.
Put 100 condoms in her pencil drawer so when she opens it, everyone can see them. Open one and put some hand cream in it and lay it across the pens...
Talk very loudly on the phone, like you are talking to your therapist loudly enough so the whole office can hear - talk about how she pulled the rug out from underneath you and what a POS she is.... for all to hear.
Start telling her that everything she's doing @ work is unacceptable and then make up some reason why.
Start monitoring her time in , breaks and time out and make sure she adhears to a very strict schedule - Put in a time clock if you have to if you don't already have one and make her punch in and out.
Take away ALL company privliges. If she has a company paid phone - pull it. If she has a company gas card - pull it. If she has a company car - pull it.
I know its mean - VERY petty and my ideas are stupid - but hell your in a much better position if she quits than for you to let her go. She's got balls to still be there!!! I don't know how she can live with herself.
Wow Kim thats a good one I like that one. haha Jim should hire you lol. Your the boss Jim
Snapping on those who are completely out of the picture is involuntary. It is important to apologize to those that got the heat and had nothing to do with the real problem.
Medication can help, and counseling, talking about it, being nice to yourself, will certainly give you the strength you need to move forward. It is not easy, it will take time, and knowing that it is ok to feel this way is extremely important. We are here to listen to you, to help you go through it and know that some days will be better than others until it is all over.
By all over, I mean the day when you find a new person who will love you and re-open your heart to move forward being cared for the way you deserve to be.
That must be so hard to work with her... I would be taking Xanex too (even though I'd be sleeping at my desk if I did). Don't feel bad for taking the drugs. You are using them correctly. They are a temporary bridge to get you through to the other side. Only temporary, not forever. I saw my therapist today and she told me I should get on an antidepressant - only for the next few months - so I'm not so sad all of the time. That sounds very nice to me actually.
You're going to be ok!!! Hang in there.