This is a lot of back and forth for such a short period of time, no wonder you feel awful. A decision needs to be made once and for all. If you guys are a couple, then great. If not, you need to stop seeing him. Is the one or two hours of company really worth all the pain you are in today? This sounds like such a painful situation, but you can help lessen that pain.

This sounds a lot like my recent relationship. Have you done any research on codependency or love addiction? That really helped me to understand my intense pain and feeling like I NEEDED him. I go to codependents anonymous meetings now and read a lot to stay grounded. Healthy relationships to have all these ups and downs. I am very well aware of my issues and always working on improvement but the guy I was on/off with was not doing his fair share so I had to leave him. I'd rather be alone than continually strung along. I deserve better and so do you. If he's willing to work on making it a healthy relationship then great, if not, then try to work on you.

Going through a break up myself. Beautiful young woman. Who always declared her love for me. This is the most painful ever. She made the wrong choice. Long good story if Antoine interested. But I don't know how to post a new story.
Hang in there everyone!!!!

I'm confused.

Why are you feeling horrible now? Did he say he didn't want to see you anymore? Is it because you want him 24/7?

I ran into an old classmate a while back and she and I got to talking. She's been dating her b/f for over 20 years and loves him dearly. I asked her about marriage, why still dating? Turns out he has asked her several times to marry and she always declines because she just absolutely will not share a house with another person, period. Apparently, marriage for this guy isn't what is highest on his priority list. He must value his time with her more than a piece of paper stating what they both know to be true in the first place.

I give the example above to offer just one of the many various types of relationships that exist out there. I don't know your specific situation or your rules and regulations governing relationships but what you could do is consider adapting to what you two do have so it is an additional plus that you have in your life instead of focusing on how the relationship isn't as you'd wish. The short of it, make the best of it.

The last g/f I had was two years ago and we still talk by phone now and then, (she lives 560 miles away now), and it's just good to know how she's doing, what she's up to, and just shoot the bull for a bit. I suppose I could get worked up about it, hearing her voice but not seeing her, touching her, hugging her, but I don't. I enjoy the talks we have, period, and I'm not upset or depressed if we don't talk for a spell. It is what it is.

I'm also confused on the part that now that he is content it makes you want him more. Maybe you like the chase more than the catch?

I'm surprised you didn't feel pain like this when you two split over a year ago. Physically, pretty much the same thing is happening so the difference must be found in your perspective. Same thing, viewing it different. Change your view, again.

You are hurting yourself and I am not sure you know how to stop the cycle - what the other posted said, the codependent treatment, would be my advice as well. You need help getting off the roller coaster ride you are on. Yes, it's very painful - but you aren't helping if you keep seeing him. Your mindset "at least I get to see him" - needs adjusting. If he wanted you back he would have said that - but he made it clear that's not what he want...so what are you doing?

do i have this right,
you love him, he uses that to manipulate the outcomes


if so , people like him are easily fond, in fact theyll do a good job of finding you

it is all too east to worry, worry on what you can control...be honest, be gentle, be truthful, be understading, after that habits sink in ...take a look at yourself, be honest, be gentle, be truthful and be forgiving, i expect you'll be an exceptionally nice person

you will finction, probably better than ever because you won't view life through the worry cloud

We already told you long ago to stop being in contact with this boy. Stop worrying about what he said in May and take to heart what he said in July so you can start healing and move on. He has made it clear that he doesn't want you. I don't care how often you all hang out. In my Beyonce voice, "If he liked it then he would've put a ring on it. Whoa oh oh..."

So you dumped him and it backfired? Consider it a lesson learned. Don't play around with matters of the heart. When you break up with someone it's over for good. You are trying to retain your power as the dumper. It doesn't work that way.

I am on this roller coaster ride after a divorce 14 months ago! It doesn't get better. If it didn't work before it won't work now if no one changes and I have found out most don't. Start over and new. While you still can. It is the old 'bait and switch" Keep connected so you have "something" but it really is "nothing" I know.