I've been separated for just over a year now. Out of the blue, my husband told me that he wanted more kids (he has a 10 year old son from a previous relationship) and that if I didn't we couldn't be together. I was 33 at the time, and still felt like I had all the time in the world to decide if/when we were ready for kids, so I couldn't make a decision right away. He just kept saying everything else was perfect, but he wanted a little girl. After having some time to think about it, I eventually realized that I'm not in my early 20s anymore and if I do want kids of my own, I need to do it soon. But at that point he said he wasn't sure if I really wanted them or was just doing that to keep him.
Then he said that there were other things wrong in the relationship, but that we could probably fix them if we tried. I agreed that we weren't perfect, but no relationship is, and I'm all for trying to improve things. In July, he decided that I should move out, so that he can figure things out. We've been trying to sell the house ever since then and I try really hard not to contact him unless it's about finances.
We went to counseling a few times in January. The counselor asked us to commit to six months of therapy before either of us made a decision, but after three visits, he wasn't sure what he wanted and decided to quit.
I know I should probably realize that he's never going to come back to me, but I just can't give up. He's been depressed over all of this and I just don't know what to do. Some days I think I'll be ok and I can get through it and others I don't even want to get out of bed. What can I do to accept this?