1 your kids would not be ok without you. I found my mom's dead body in her bed in 2006 and I still walk around with the trauma of that and knowing I could never call her on the phone never eat her delicious food again never get the genuine hugs and kisses and advise that only a mother can really give and you know you can never do that to them neither of us has the luxury of checking out of this ride early no matter how much we hate it. The existence of our children blocks the exit door and trust me I absolutely empathize with feeling alone depressed and suicidal. I'm aware of the voices in my head and fortunately I have a secondary voice it is my logical side, my left brain if you will who is hyper aware that once you lose your self-preservation instinct you are insane and you can't listen to yourself. I call this personality fragmentation I invented it and if it exists somewhere else I've never heard of it before I made it up. It's gotten me through the darkest times in my life and I'm currently in the darkest one ever. Tying into your second point if you have body issues start walking or doing yoga or get a personal trainer and use your pain as fuel to literally as the band Incubus would say, make yourself. 28 is too young to feel 60 I'm 32 and I feel 40 so I get it. You're never going to be a Barbie doll any more than I'm going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger (I'm 5'6" 162 before this stress but I'm down to 148 from nerves, not sleeping or eating) this is not about adhering to any specific body image this is about just being cool with yourself. Besides didn't they say if barbie was a real person she'd be 7 feet tall with 60" boobs? Sounds freakish (sorry amazons or people with pituitary/thyroid issues, this post isn't for u). As a man I insatiably crave intimacy. So just understand you're fighting psychology and nature by trying to find a man who isn't all about sex. We're talking Primal base of our brain the reason we get up in the morning why we drive a car and have a nice job is to attract a mate and some guys have no sense of values and just want a new girl every night I want stability and continuity I have no need for the bar scene or the club or a new girl every day. I haven't even had sex in a month which is the same time my wife of 11 years told me she's having the affair haven't been with anyone else since then but it is insane to think I wouldn't immediately jump in the sack if I had the opportunity just for a cathartic release of dopamine oxytocin epinephrine and norepinephrine. It's The Human Experience allow yourself to feel. I crave it and I have nothing no Outlet. If I had a spirit animal it would be the rabbit because I'm small and quick-witted passive and I always come home to the burrow where I can hump the crap out of the person I love. sex is an expression of that. I suppose like everything in life it is what you make it from masturbation with a partner all the way to Two Souls merging as one but these experiences occur in our minds alone and we have faith that the other person feels the same way or we lower our expectations and just have some fun for a little while. I'm not saying sell yourself out or compromise your personal values just understand that we men are walking erections and you can't fight nature. Whether we bring that stiffy home to you at night or seek out other partners has to do with individual character which varies from person to person. is it all about sex? Well there always violence. Look at the news. As George Carlin would say "we are barely evolved beasts with baseball caps and automatic weapons" by the way I'm not saying subscribe to violence either obviously. Humanity is not nearly as far along the evolutionary line as you would like to believe. I thought by loving my wife with everything I had she would reciprocate and I was betrayed as it sounds like you were too. Just keep your expectations of these erect walking chimpanzee/bonobo cousins that we call human beings realistic. Human beings are literally capable of anything from necrophilia to cannibalism. Obviously these are extreme examples. But "civilization" is remarkably new on Earth. Only a few thousand years and look at the world: Syria, Egypt, Sudan, we have troops all over the place not because we're so evolved but impose the will of our culture and economic system on the planet. If real universal justice and Karma existed we wouldn't need a legal system. I feel as though I've gotten a bit off topic but all of these truths have to be taken in and digested as one gigantic lesson. The flip side to the coin is there are good people out there like myself and some of the other poor lost souls who have also been betrayed on this forum and even those who don't even know about this forum and are wandering around, ghosts of their former selves because of how much pain they are in because they believed in Justice and honor and they were betrayed too. Oh and you don't have to go out and find friends just be cool with yourself and here's a little secret if you make people feel good about themselves find any reason to compliment them from their hair to their manner of dress tell them they have nice personalities tell them they are hard workers if you fluff people's egos you will wake up one day surrounded by friends. kind of a psychopath way to view it but again we're dealing with human beings and feelings can be manipulated even in our own favor. Avoid speaking ill of others behind their backs because you never know who might be friends with who and even if somebody says something negative to you about someone else you can always just brush it off. People respect and love genuinely nice people. Obviously bad people will seek us out because terrible people think kindness is weakness but it isn't. Its strength through Grace not god's grace but our own.

I'm a verbose person, I don't do brevity

I just friend requested you let's make that box go from zero to one and eventually it will get higher and higher One Day at a Time one person at a time one action at a time we have to get through this we don't have any other choice and that's not a bad thing. When your back is against the cliff every step away is a step towards life and light and love and real happiness

hey girl. im about to turn 28 in less than a month and just got out of a 4 1/2 year horrible relationship about 3 days ago. trust me when i say i completely understand what you are going through when you feel hopeless and theres nothing to live for. you feel so out of place, like nothing will ever be normal again or feel normal again. but it will. it has to. we have to be strong. and being strong is the hardest thing to ever do for yourself. but i know you can do it. because i have to keep telling myself i can do it. you are strong enough. just find it deep down in yourself, give yourself time. dont feel like you have no one or no friends. im here and so are a lot of people who are looking for the same as you! keep the faith girl. you got this! we all got this!

54, my wife cheated. I never filed but found a soulmate. She just dumped me because I never filed. Talk about lonely and doubt over finding someone new. On a pension, teen daughter Im raising with no financial support from the "mother". But i sure would like to find another that understands.

I also completely understand what you're going through. I just turned 30 years old, and got dumped by my fiance of 8 years about 5 months ago. 2 weeks before he left, he told me we'd be a family someday. Then two weeks later - POOF. I haven't seen or heard from him since, and ever since then I've occasionally thought 'I'll never be happy', 'I'll never find someone else', 'something's wrong with me', 'I'll never have a family', 'I'll never leave my mark on this world', etc. That is NOT true! I think you probably do need some therapy - personally I'm in therapy right now and it helps SO MUCH, needing or going to therapy isn't a bad thing.

Just keep your head up - I'm going to add you as a friend right now also, and please feel free to message me if you need to talk! And please, don't ever feel like nobody cares.

Thanks everybody for the support and letting me know I'm not alone in my pain. There are a lot of you that have these same thoughts after the separation with your ex's. Only time will heal and someday I will find someone who I connect with on a deeper level and who doesn't use me for my money, cheat or emotionally abuse me. I just have to have patience and focus on myself and my career goals.