I will always encourage people I care about to quit smoking because of the damage it does to you. But quitting smoking is no small deal. Most people who have smoke for any amount of time, not to mention those who have smoke for almost all their life, will struggle immensely and a small percentage will not be able to quit altogether.

Now couple that with a tramatic even in your life such as a break up, and include other issues going on with maybe work, school, friends and on an on, one would certainly say, that is such a bad idea. I may say that as well cus we have seen people who have tried or like your counselor, may have been part to seeing even worse, medically, the damages it does mentally and can really be an overload for one already dealing with a crap load on issues on their plate already.

What I may do in a situation like this, where someone I care about is asking if they should quit right now but are dealing with the mound of crap you are, is to tell them they want to prepare themselves with alternatives to lighting up. Example: get a patch, chew that nasty gum and so on. One thing I may suggest would also be to get one of those usb mini hooka things. While the main thing in the addiction to smoking is the habit and the nicotine, you can get flavors that have certain that are made with certain strengths of nicotine in them. You can start with that and the lower the amount of nicotine as time goes on. They even have flavors with no nicotine in it so if you do like to continue the habit of the motion of smoking, then you can continue on without harming yourself with taking in the Nicene.

We all want to believe we have the will and strength or should have the will and strength to do the things we need to in order to take care of ourselves. Sure having someone in your corner, supporting you helps, but some people, such as yourself, do not have that option at the moment. So while you think you can and should be strong enough to do this, there are times where we find we jsut aren't strong enough, and thats Ok. What matters is that if you really are working towards something, that when you have the energy and minset that you take the steps needed to get there, whether they are baby steps or huge steps. It doesn't matter, do what you can with what you have. You are your greatest critic, so give yourself a break for a moment and know you are doing what you can and you will do this as you are able to as well.

stay strong.

So if you don't manage it, are you going to pin this on your failed marriage and use it to blame? Or are you going to realize that if you do stumble and spark one up it's you, and your decision? Accept personal accountability?

If you do make this positive decision, post your progress HERE. You'd have 50 GREAT supporters, excited and positive about every step forward you make.

Thanks CTB and Still. I take full responsibility for all of my actions, including the ones that contributed to my failed marriage. I can't talk to her, so, I can't ask for her forgiveness. Not that it is owed to me, I would only ask. In lieu of that, I must forgive myself, rather than be bitter and carve out a hole in my heart. Does my distorted way of thinking due to my alcoholism think that I am "owed" something from her because she enabled me and promised that we were together through thick and thin, like our vows said? I'd be lying if I didn't.

But, nobody held a gun to my head, whether it was tipping one back, or lighting up. I'm just don't want to bite off more than I can choose, because I NEED to take care of myself in order of priority. My alcoholism and emotional recovery probably take precedent over the smokes, but, the smokes are a crutch too, which is one reason why I want to quit. So, I don't blame anybody for my smoking, just like I don't blame anybody for my drinking. I'm just looking to move forward and continue my recovery in all facets of my life, smoking being another one of those things...

Congrats on your sobriety.
I quit smoking almost 2 years ago (22 months) after a 20+ year addiction to nicotine and a few other addictions.
It is not an easy thing to do....but it is doable.
I use to make all kinds of excuses and promises to quit smoking.
"Oh...I'll quit when.....
*the divorce is final
*when I finish school
*when I get settled in to my house
and the list goes on and on.
It is never a good time to quit as life is full of stress and being on the go. I made excuses for 2 years before I finally quit.
I went to the doctor and asked for help. She gave me wellbutrin reluctantly becuz of my addictive behavior and past. I was on it 3 days when I had such a reaction....I ended up in the ER thinking I was stroking or having a heart attack....turned out to be anxiety. I threw away the meds and went cold turkey and threw all smoking stuff away as well.
The best thing I did was joining the smoking addiction and recovery group. I took my recovery into my own hands. I made a plan...got tons of ideas to help me quit and stay quit. There are several in the group who have had to start over several times, but are finally quit for a long period of time now. We just take it one day at a time (sometimes just a few minutes at a time).

It is the best decision and my final addiction to leave. I know it is hard and it can be scary to quit, but it is so worth it. I am no longer a slave to Mr. Nicodemon.
You have to do what is good for you and it will only work if you truly want it.
I wish you the best and hope to see you on the boards over at smoking addiction and recovery group. Nice bunch of peeps :)

It's a great idea to quit.

One may think that under your current circumstances, it may not be the best time. Frankly, as a smoker....we always find excuses for it not to be a good time to quit.

Perhaps it's a GOOD time to quit ....while you are going through these life changes.

Great advice everybody. I don't know what I would do without these forums. Save for the occasional idiot troll, the ones like you who want to help and have had similar experiences are good people. Thank you.

I am so sorry for the loss of your marriage. Having watched my mom go through the AA process (she's 4 years sober!), I really admire you doing it at such a terribly hard time in your life. Such incredible strength it must have taken you to get this far. (Side note, I really hope you will have kids someday and teach them all the things you've learned from this.)

With your situation, I'd say it was forgivable if you were still making excuses about smoking or if you were still in denial that quitting was the right thing to do.

The fact that you've identified it as a problem makes me think that you're ready to start the quitting process. You're not in denial. You're not defending it. Your question is essentially, "I've shown a ton of strength so far. There can't be that much more left. It'd be crazy to keep trying to better myself when it's not absolutely necessary, right?"

My answer is no. I think you are ready to quit. I think if you don't at least try, you might find yourself through AA down the line, with a wonderful life full of hope, but still clinging to this terrible addiction from when you were at rock bottom. I think you should try. :)

If you try and fail, THAT IS OK and you can take on the task of forgiving yourself. Hopefully you will have become very good at it by then; you're working so hard and you truly deserve your own forgiveness. If you succeed, you will just have one more accomplishment to add to your list and to remember in times of doubt.

Hello,
I have been a smoker for 30 years now. Sometimes I can't believe how quickly those years flew by. I remember wanting to see what it was like to smoke and by the time I learned how to do it I was hooked. I recently switched to a vapor pen and it's been almost 3 weeks since I've smoked a real cigarette. I still get the nicotine but none of the other garbage that's in cigarettes and none of the withdrawal either. It's much cleaner and believe it or not, it evens tastes better. The e-juice, as they call it, comes in different favors and different strengths of nicotine. That is one option. Another option is to try Chantix. I've tried it in the past and it worked wonderfully...it completely removed any urge to smoke. It unfortunately comes with many potential side effects, one of which I've suffered so I had to quit using it. If they could reformulate that medication and remove all side effects I would go back to using it. It can be expensive but many insurance plans do cover it in their policies.

In the past I had occasion to work on detox units and it was never advisable to quit smoking when you're trying to kick another habit, whether it is alcohol or other drugs. Of course it is ideal to quit all habits at the same time but that is much easier said than done. Unless you've been there you don't know how stressful, not to mention difficult, it is to quit everything at once.

What great, thoughtful advice from each and every one of you. CTW, Katie, KAW, SB, MB, Blindsided. I can't thank each of you enough. I think quitting is the right thing to do. Like seriously, is it going to kill me quitting after all that has happened? I hope nicotine is bringing an army with, because it won't be big enough!! Thanks again, you are all the best.