Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm at ds for another forum but stumbled across this one and thought I'd ask a question from those who are separated or divorced.
I've been married 30 years. I suppose if you asked if I was happy if have to ask you got a definition. Happy enough. We've raised two kids, have had an action packed life. I'm not unhappy. My wife prides herself on having stayed married unlike her parents and siblings.
Complicating matters is that we run a business together (though legally it's hers). Without the marriage I have no home and no income.
The kicker? Im in love with another woman and although she has a bf I think we'd have a chance if I left my wife. Now I know that lots of people separate and divorce. But I can't seem to go there.
So I guess my question is how in the absence of clear reasons for a divorce do you get to that point? Not sure if that makes sense but if if does I'd appreciate comments.
I've been married 30 years. I suppose if you asked if I was happy if have to ask you got a definition. Happy enough. We've raised two kids, have had an action packed life. I'm not unhappy. My wife prides herself on having stayed married unlike her parents and siblings.
Complicating matters is that we run a business together (though legally it's hers). Without the marriage I have no home and no income.
The kicker? Im in love with another woman and although she has a bf I think we'd have a chance if I left my wife. Now I know that lots of people separate and divorce. But I can't seem to go there.
So I guess my question is how in the absence of clear reasons for a divorce do you get to that point? Not sure if that makes sense but if if does I'd appreciate comments.
I commend you on not acting on your desire to cheat. Sadly, I think a lot of people would hardly hesitate (that may be my cynical divorcing wife opinion though).
Personally, I think if you have had a good life together, are not and have not been unhappy, then rather than thinking about divorce you need to be discussing things with your wife and possibly a counselor on how to rekindle your relationship with your wife. Long ago when you two were first together, I bet you felt the same way about her as you do the other woman right? Maybe you can nurture your relationship with your wife and get to a new happiness that you can only have with someone you have spent your entire life loving and building your lives and the lives of your children with.
Actually , I'm pretty sure I am cheating. Not physically bit emotionally. I spend as much time with the ow as I can without my w knowing. I think that's a good definition of cheating.
Thanks for your thoughts. I would be interested to hear from other long term married on the issue of divorce. In the end I think this is a case of bad timing. As Shakespeare observed, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to haves loved at all
God, I needed this laugh! Thank you, Despair!!
Plus, you said this other woman has a boyfriend... Are you sure she even likes you as more than a friend? Some women have flirtatious personalities, and it's not an indication that they really want a relationship with whoever they flirt with. Maybe even if you left your family and she was sincerely in to you... Is she the type of person who would want to be with a newly divorced, jobless, homeless man who left his first wife for another woman? I worry that you're possibly getting wrapped up in a fantasy. It happens all the time.