Well, I hate to say it Heave, but if you want to look at patterns, what's the one single point of commonality in all these experiences of yours where you got passed up for a purported dickhead? It's you, dude.

At some point, if a mouse is pressing a lever and the lever keeps on giving it a shock, the mouse has to figure out "Shit, I can't press that lever anymore" and will try the next lever.

Try some new techniques or something. Whatever you're doing, it's not working.

Yes Frank...I could just change who I am, Change my core beliefs, become a real asshole , and settle for less.

If it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it isn't meant to be. Nothing more and nothing less.

"To thine own self be true."

I know how I am, I know what I want. Honestly, if it doesn't fit the space exactly then I don't want to try to make it fit at this point!

I have to agree with Frank on this one....Look I could sit here and say

Oh I'm such a nice down to earth girl I always get shit on....well ya know what...I did get shit on in that past...but ya know what...I chose to have bad toxic men in my life...I had to do some serious self evaluation (help from a therapist) as to why i was settling with men that treated me like shit.....look it's time to step back and take some ownership and realize what we did in our past is not working for our future....time to try something new, time to self evaluate who you are and what we have to offer and what we want in a partner....therapy works wonders.....

:)

18!

Geez Heave, the world isn't black or white.

Plenty of "nice guys" are getting plenty of dates and girlfriends and relationships.

You can continue to band your head against a wall, or you can just try to find a door.

shoot..

That sucks but I hear you. Where the hell do we go from here?

Sit, wait, and see when opportunity presents itself.

'Zactly Stretch and Heave... it's truly a mystery ... sigh

Heave, check out my post on dating vs legal prostitution. Just trying to add a little humor. I know how you feel.

Nice people might finish last in the sprint, but nice people usually finish first in the marathon.

Wishing yo an amazing women!


Lynne

It takes meeting and talking and dating a lot more than one or two people before you will find someone who clicks in your life.

Sorry Frank, but it might not be "Heave" that's the issue...it might just mean that he haven't tried enough pieces to find the one that fits.

Hang in there. Sometimes you'll like them and they won't like you, and sometimes they'll like you and you won't like them.

And just because she 'tries another piece' doesn't mean that that relationship will work out for her either.

Sure, some people get lucky the first time (and I'm not talking about sex), but most of us have to search for a while.

wise words Patty... and I agree with Julie that we have to take the responsibility to understand our own problems too. it's just such a frustrating process! and painful too. sometimes it seems too overwhelming to go through all of it again and again. even when you understand your own negative issues it doesn't guaranteed that you'll be happy. that person can still be a bad match for you. but hopefully with time we learn to let go of situations that make us unhappy earlier into the relationship and be able to move forward. still, whatever the reason is that a relationship didn't work out doesn't always mean it's easy. it can still feel like failure and leave us frustrated and feeling hopeless. aaaaaargh i just want to feel better!

i hope i didn't get too off topic with the ramble... i feel your frustration, heave... i cringe when i think of having to date again! *shudder*

I hear what Heave is saying also, and I did venture out there in that dating world. It kicked my butt, and I am now back into being by myself. I talked to hundreds of men, some for a short time, some for a long time, and I only found 2 that were friends. The rest were out for one nighters. I did not choose them, but I did choose to date 13 men, almost all of which wanted to jump in the sack, but had put forth a nice effort into making me think they wanted to take it slow and just see what develops. Dating is a crap shoot in my book, or at least the dating site I chose was. I may try another one later but for now, I am not putting much effort into dating. Don't give up heave, if you really want to date. The others are right, that you have to date a lot to find one. Hugs, Kimmee