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Prolonging the inevitable

shanbanan
shanbanan
I wanted to work things out. Hubby was opening up, telling me things about him I never knew. He was making himself vulnerable and I wanted to try and make things better with us.
Now the truck business is coming to an end and he will likely be back looking for local work that will get him home at the end of the day. Now I'm having a panic attack. Sure it's what I've been wanting since the day the business happened, but now I'm scared.
I don't think we can last. I'm getting annoyed with his bad habits/quirks already and they are just who he is.
Why didn't I just end the marriage? When I think of going forward I don't see it being good with him. I'm scared, helpless and mad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you and the husband should try couples counseling. If you both want to try, there is hope. If you divorce without even giving it a good try, you will second guess yourself forever.
If you both are willing to try and mend this, counseling is key. Sometimes there are issues that you only subconsciously realize that won't come out without some sort of mediation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sheb....
I'm trying to understand. I thought I saw that either you or your husband is battling demons of obesity and alcoholism. That is a lot to handle. Regardless of which one of you has which demon you both could use the help of a counselor to learn ways of taming the demon.
There is no shame in that.
And, there is no blAme in that the only person who cAn really ever tame someone's inner demons is the person to whom those demons belong.
By that I mean thAt is not up to your husband to "make" you happy, nor is it up to you to make him happy.

For yourself, identify your demons and put them to rest, if your husband is willing to do the same then there us hope for your marriage, then the 2 of you can put the marriage demons rest.
felifel
felifel
If it gets to the point where you are so unhappy you feel like you are going crazy (panic attack) you may want to consider taking a break and separating. This might help him see that you are really unhappy and that he needs to make a better effort. Also, it will help you take care of yourself. I wouldn't end the marriage until you are really sure though.
felifel
felifel
I also agree with Paramom - you should definitely consider couples counseling. If it works, great. If not, you know that you at least tried to make it work.
shanbanan
shanbanan
Thank you all. I've asked him in the past for counselling but I will try again.
Broken....yes, we each have our own demons with alcohol and me with obesity. We are trying to get our demons in check and hope once they are the marriage demons will go away