He is looking in mirrow. ya he see's himself but he acussing you to be the person in mirrow.
Ya he thinks that his behavior will get you to want to return to him,lol
drunks -abusers pull that crap.

Do you want him back ?
I can only assume that you do being that you have open communication w him.
If that is not what you really want. then obtain a no contact order, after you buy a cat crate & call a taxie & py the driver. send his cat to him. unless you want him to come over.
Unless you want him to feel that you want his foot in the door. either he is holding the door open or you are. dunno.
The choise is yours, not his. slavery is out.
U owe him zip, zero, nada..

The best way to get over a man is to get under one,lol

no i don't want him back. the idea is nauseating.

i guess i feel sorry for his dumb ass so i talk to him... or allow him to talk to me. i care for him as a friend after all these years, but i would never go back to that shit.

his apartment has a no pet rule. right now i'm trying to find a new owner for his cat (unless he beats me to it). i'm also trying to convince him to go back to his psychiatrist, he needs further help. or should i just let that go?

No contact rule, it works, this is why we swear by it.

If they're having a bad day, they want someone to blame, or cry at. when you don't respond in the way they want you to, meaning crying at them that you want them back, or whatever else you can think of, their disposition turns into resentment, and they start trying to make you feel bad.

nuff said

Hello Bluesun;

I woundn't be alone with him EVER! I'd actually RUN! You deserve better, and he might need to hit bottom before he can get well. Check out...

www.mosaicmethod.com

It's free, and will help you perhaps see the danger you're in. It really sounds like you are in danger of physical harm. Be careful. Good luck!

All the best!
Hugs,
Timmy

When you make a decision, stick to it. As long as he points the finger at YOU, he is not looking at what he needs to do for him.

Some of you must miss him like hell. That is ok. The healing part of you is pushing away the stuff that he is trying to put on you.

And yes, he is projecting. Big time.

When he gets better, MAYBE. No recovery by him, NO you in his life.

Sorry. NOt meant to sound so preachy. I am OLD CORPS. we do that sometimes. Peace, OUT!

I can relate to this situation bluesun. I'll spare you the details. The only difference between you and I is that I don't want to be friends with the EX. I have come to realize our relationship is toxic to me so I do the no contact. We have two teenagers we co-parent so when I need to contact him I try email or texting. Rarely face to face or on the phone. It just has to be this way for my own sanity. With friends like I wouldn't need any enemies. Friends don't do to each other what he did to me. Take care and good luck in finding the cat a home and taking care of all the other stuff you have going on.

i tried calling him back last night to let him know that i'm setting boundaries with our communication. and that i've never talked to any of my ex's in the past and he's the 1st ex i've broken that rule for.

but part of me was curious who he was talking to that said i was acting like a bad person. so i asked him. turns out he was talkin to a friend of mine whom i had butt heads with shortly after the break up. i tried explaining to my ex that it was over the guy not returning my vacuum but he didn't want to hear it. he was dead set on believing whatever he wanted to.

then the dumb motha f*cker had the balls to start saying stuff like "i still care about you and i'm just checkin to see if there is any good left in you and-.." before he could finish i cut him off, caught on to his scheme and started cussing him out about devaluing me. he's always trying to devalue me in some caring voice!!! fuck that shit! i told him that THAT'S why i will NEVER go back to him!

calling him back was a mistake.... i simply had the intentions to set some boundaries but got side tracked with his bullshit. i tried telling him that he's not to call me about anything like this, nothing but to ask how the cats are doin or how i'm doin or i'm hangin up, but he kept talkin over me. so i hung up on him. SO GUESS WHAT, i'm not answering the phone when he calls. he's just shit out of luck!

i guess i'm goin back to the no contact rule like y'all said.

This is why we emphasize no contact...

i called my friend Mo (the one i lent the vacuum to) and he said that when he ran into my ex it was my ex that was doing all the shit talking and Mo was actually sticking up for me! Mo said that he himself never said anything bad about me, but the ex had a whole list of f*cked up things to say including calling me a homicidal maniac psychotic bitch! he also told Mo that i kicked him out (instead of him walkin out on me).

i asked him what day that was he ran into him and it turns out THAT'S the same day he called me ballin his eyes out sayin sorry for everything and askin me back.

what a lying f*ckin loser..... i'm thinkin the day he called me, which is the day he ran into Mo, he was strung out on drugs.
oh man what a loser..... i'm so done giving a shit about this dude. not even as a friend. DONE.

why does misery love company? why does he have to try so hard to bring me down with him? doesn't he get it that i'll never be HIM?

Some people are just not good at taking responsibility

some people are good at making "some people" sentences

What she said ^^