Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
First, my ex husband and I split 6 years ago. He lives 800 miles away and is active duty. We have one child and my ex doesn't care to have much of a relationship with him. My son sees him once per year, and talks on the phone with him a handful of times through the year.
My sons visitation states a 30 day notice, with 2 weeks for the summer and a week at Christmas. For the past 3 summers he has chosen not to have visitation with my son. This past summer, my ex spent some time in jail. He is an alcoholic and this was another alcohol related incident. I have sole custody.
When Christmas arrived this year, he called 10 days before. He is to give a 30 day notice. I reminded him of that politely. He then said he would shoot for my sons winter break, which starts this Friday.
Haven't heard from him since January 10th. He sends a text today about when I want to drive my son? Wtf?!
Last week my ex mother in law sent me an email saying my ex had his time off approved. I didn't respond. It's HIS responsibility. She is the only reason my ex even attempts visitation. She pushes it because she wants to see my son. I asked my ex today if he just found out TODAY about approved leave. He lied and said yes, when her email from last week says otherwise.
What is the right thing to do? I'm angry and resentful. It's not fair to my son, or myself, for him to pick and choose this way. 30 day notice...my order says.
I hate being lied to. Again.
My sons visitation states a 30 day notice, with 2 weeks for the summer and a week at Christmas. For the past 3 summers he has chosen not to have visitation with my son. This past summer, my ex spent some time in jail. He is an alcoholic and this was another alcohol related incident. I have sole custody.
When Christmas arrived this year, he called 10 days before. He is to give a 30 day notice. I reminded him of that politely. He then said he would shoot for my sons winter break, which starts this Friday.
Haven't heard from him since January 10th. He sends a text today about when I want to drive my son? Wtf?!
Last week my ex mother in law sent me an email saying my ex had his time off approved. I didn't respond. It's HIS responsibility. She is the only reason my ex even attempts visitation. She pushes it because she wants to see my son. I asked my ex today if he just found out TODAY about approved leave. He lied and said yes, when her email from last week says otherwise.
What is the right thing to do? I'm angry and resentful. It's not fair to my son, or myself, for him to pick and choose this way. 30 day notice...my order says.
I hate being lied to. Again.
My ex is a violent alcoholic and addict. I never ever feel safe leaving him with his "father". Unfortunately, I cannot have visitation removed until/unless he does something to my son.
My ex was emailing pictures of my son to women on a swingers site. Makes me sick. The courts also said that is acceptable, as long as they were not sexual in nature (which they weren't)
A joke. The law is designed to protect criminals, not the innocent.
Each time I ha e to hand him over...I feel as though I'm feeding my son to the wolves...it really makes me sick, anxious and very, very sad and fearful.
I would hate to be in your shoes. Actually that is part of the reason I stayed married to my ex until all my kids were over 18, even though it was such a nightmare, so that I wouldn't have to deal with decisions like this.
If your son really doesn't want to spend time with his father, can't you fight it on that score? Wasn't there just a case recently where a kid won the right to be divorced from his parents because of how badly they treated him?
Many male role models in his every day life...that he sees daily. My father, my brother, and brother in laws are always here.
I think I'm going to go get him a cell phone now. He has his iPod that he can text through too.
Can I just say that I HATE my ex...and all of the bullshit that comes with him. I'm trying to exercise compassion....but just can't find it today. Because there is so little contact with him, I'm fine 90% of the time...until it comes for time to visit. Ugh
(Sorry--that's probably a stupid/naive suggestion, but I feel so bad for your pain/fear.)
I'm so sorry you have to continue to go through this.
You don't want your son to go
Your son doesnt want to go
So to me, stick to the court order as it appears the situation he will be going in to with your ex/ex's mom is not ideal.
If your ex's mom wants to see her grandson, she can make a visit to your location whenever she wants. Her pushing your ex to do something he clearly doesn't care to do, isn't going to be a positive one for your boy.
So stick to the law if thats what the order states.