(((Strumphyy)))) I so remember these unanswered questions in my mind each time my ex would leave me high and dry! I asked and asked myself, almost drove myself crazy asking, and then I realized that sometimes there are no answers for our questions, only acceptance that the situation is what it is , right his moment. It would help with closure I know, but I asked myself, Do I really want to understand anyone that could kiss me good bye that morning , return in the evening with a beer, and a steak. Cook the steak, drink the beer, pack his clothes, tell he has never loved me, and walked out the door, in winter with no wood gathered, and leaving children behind, and the answer was no. I don't want to understand that kind of cruelty, because that would make me able to be that cruel maybe, and that is just not in the realm of my spirit at all. Be thankful that you are kind, and as hard as this is, be thankful that he left you behind, because he is unable to give you what you need, and thank god that it did not last 19 years and children later as it did with me. I know it hurts, Sweetie. I can feel your pain, but I am promising you, that when someone that unfeeling leaves your life, it is best to let them go. One day this pain will fade, and one day someone will recognize that beautiful spirit that you are, so capable of loving another. Keep healing, taking this time for you. Big healing hugs, Kimmee

I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through.It sucks that we are left wondering with no real closure and no answers to our questions. I think you should come to terms with the possibility that he's never going to give you those answer's you're looking for. For me when I came to terms with that I was able to let go and stop obssessing about him and begin moving on. The beginning is always toughest but you will be okay and get through this.((((((hugs)))))))

I am sure it really hurts not knowing...I know I am the closure type of person. However, not hearing from him may be better at times. The first time my ex brokeup with me (before we got back together only for him to breakup with me over a year later), he gave me nothing to go off of. He told me all the things that were wrong with me and told me to get my things and go...and everything had been going ok so this was out of the blue.

This breakup with him, I insisted on talking and having my questions answered before I would take my stuff. He was VERY emotional...lots of crying and maybe that is why your ex did not want to talk. I don't think guys like being emotional and I am sure there is a degree of hurt for them. That talk we had was really hard for me too and I'll never forget the things he said...some good and some bad. Even getting that, I don't feel I have closure. All I can say is you may be better off not hearing what he has to say because that can throw you for a whole other loop.

Usually that kind of indifference comes from one or two things. Either never really being in the relationship in the first place, or second, having some event, or some one else enter into your life. I am not saying he was cheating, just saying it's a possibility. I am sorry also that you may never get the closure you want on this, therefore you will have to make your own. Write a letter, put all your feeling and emotion into it, then either keep it, or burn it. Just my thoughts ;)

I am so sorry you are hurting. Sometimes people run from doing what is hard. Maybe he didn't want to hurt you or to see how he hurt you. So breaking up that way let him escape the consequences of his actions. No one deserves that, but sometimes people take the cowardly way out.

I am sorry you are going through this. I am too. I will never know why it went bad. I can only speculate about mental issues. I will never know and I would like to learn from all of it. Probably not going to happen for me.

So, welcome to the roller coaster of pain. We are here and we each have our own painful questions and thoughts to deal with.

Best wishes for some peace in your day, Mayber try a DivorceCare group. That might let you vent face-to-face. It helped me.

RR99

"Does he know how much he has hurt me not by leaving me , bu leaving me like THAT, like someone not worth checking up on.. "

Where you are now, I was there 4-5 weeks ago.

Up all night wondering, going over everything in my mind, looking for answers, for clues that I may have missed.

Wondering what ahe was doing, and why she wasn't wondering about me after 12 years together.

I'll not kid you. It was rough.

In Nov 2007, we were picking out baby names.
2 weeks later she wanted a divorce.

I felt blindsided. She did not.

She had been thinking these thoughts for a while, but didn't have the courage to say.

She wanted to do a blurt and run.

I managed to keep her around for another year, but I had to be superhusband at that point to please her.

And the up - down progress wore me out, and then in the end , she had someone else.

Only recently, I came to accept that I may never know everything, no matter how much I may want to.

And bitterness will keep me tied forever to someone that doesn't want me anymore.

Not everything that hurts us has a cure.
Sometimes we just have to get through it and try to be stronger in the end.

My husband had our therapist call me and break up with me and then when decided that he wanted a divorce he emailed me. Same type of thing, no contact, I was totally cut off. This was two months ago and I've started to realize that if you truly love someone you do not treat them this way. This is his issue, he's a coward and cannot face you because of HIS issues. He blamed the entire break-up on me and was happy when I apologized for being so upset and emotional when it happened. Why am I apologizing for someone who left me? I know the pain well, nothing takes it away and everyday I ask myself "how could this have happened?" He will have to deal with his actions for the rest of his life and know that he acted like a child and ran away. Even though it is SO painful right now, I think we will be better off in the long run. People who just leave and use text messaging or email to break up with someone they have loved have more problems than you can imagine. Hang in there, I totally understand what you're going through.

I feel your pain, My wife and i were married for 5 years but together for 14 years. She walked out like it was no big thing and left me picking up the pieces. I believe thet those kind of people eventually crash and crash hard, just a matter of when. Hang in there and God bless

I feel so awful for you. We are all in pain here, so we can all relate and support you. It is a good idea for you to do what is best for you and look after you. It is not easy, but trust that you will get through this. We are here for you.........Prayers and Hugs,
Mon

I know how you feel. My ex did the same thing. He never called to ask me if I was okay, nothing. He was happy.

I finally did confront him; he eventually broke down and cried and apologized, but I had to confront him to get this type of response. If I hadn't, I don't think I would have ever heard a thing.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. People like this are incredibly selfish and narcissistic. They care only for themselves. They are cowards.

Cry because you hurt and you need to vent and heal, and then be thankful a skunk like this is out of your life.

Hugs, hugs, hugs. I know it hurts.