As the days pass by since the break up I've gone through all the phases of recovery, not just once but quite a few times.  It seems to cycle and I never know what feelings or emotions I will have to deal with the following morning.  Yesterday morning I woke up feeling down, wanting to cry, thinking that I lost someone that was my life.  This depressed me most of the day then I started to get down on myself because this isn't how it should be.  I started to think about why I was having these feelings.  Then rational thinking started to sink in.  I started to take comfort in it.  I'm not sure if this will work for everyone but I felt like I should share just incase it can help someone out there.  Sometimes we need to put ourselfs in thier shoes as well as ours.  What I mean by that is our ex's just didnt wake up one day and decide on thier own that they were no longer in love.  There was a time when they did love you but unfortuately it passed for them.  I don't believe that it was a pleasant feeling for them either to realize that their feelings have changed.  It's true for some that our ex's made some bad decisions such as cheating, not communicating, disconnecting, but I believe at that point it was all lost on thier side.  No matter how long they were with us we have to accpet that they are not happy now.  For most of us we love them with everything we had and more and because of that we also have to do whats right for you and for them.  I personally feel that in time I'll be grateful that someone was able to end the relationship.  What i mean by that is, I wouldn't want to keep loving a person who doesn't feel the same way about me.  In a relationship we all need to walk and run together.  We can't always be looking back hoping they will catch back up with us one day.  I honestly feel that if they could control thier feelings they would be right back in our arms.  Unfortunately none of us can control our feelings.  I woke up movtivated to take advantage of my new independance.  To find what makes me happy, to explore the freedom that I control.  I woke up early and when the sun came up I was outside just staring at the sky.  I realized that life is going on all around me and I'm very fortunate to be able to wake up every morning and live.  We have so much life ahead of us.  We have amazing friends and family that love us.  We also have many potential new friends and partners that could come at any time.  I've made a few new friends that have come after the breakup.  I have got closer to family and also caught up with old friendships.  I took what I learned from my previous relationship and bettered myself from it and continue to do so.  We did what we could for the person we once and still love and we should feel good about that.  I'm sure there will still be those sad times, but I feel like its just a reminder that we got to experiance something special.  That's our own special memory and we will have new ones as we live life going forward.  Be good to yourself because you deserve it.  Hopefully you'll soon be able to see the sunshine also!