First thing don't think of yourself as a loser o.k. second you are who you are and don't just try to change for anyone but if there is any little thing you can improve go for it and think UP not DOWN you will be better off and if thats not enough try and move on to someone elsa it's hard yes but give it a try!!

You shouldn't have to compete! Love is not a game, its a choice, its a comittment.

You're not a loser! She is just being selfish! Hang in there, we are here for you!

You have been married and she wants to start dating again?
Bro its a set up she is going to hurt you because she is being selfish and justifyling it as you both dating.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you cannot win a game in which she has all the rules.
If you try and compete she just gets more attention and will become even more selfish.
Maybe its time for you to move on now whiile you still aren't completely devestated
Just MHO and two wives,both had affairs.
My heart goes out to you but I think you know what you have to do as hard as it is.
Best of luck
Eight

can you remember what attracted you to her, and her to you in the very beginning? You are the same person except alot of things have happened in between There must have been something, just be yourself

i think it's time to let go. when someone loves you and wants to be separated and/or divorced but wants to date you and others, it's time to call it quits. she is trying to gear you up to date because she wants to. let her go. i know it hurts and its devastating, and you are not a loser. your starting the journey we are all on. we are here for you.

I agree with churop,but would also suggest she move out as its her that wants to seperate!
You stay in that house with the kids and allow sufficient time for them to see their mom
Get a lawyer now my friend

Just to put another spin on things and, hopefully not muddy the waters but is your wife looking for an open marriage?
If that is the case and you are both open to it that doesn't make you a loser, in fact it's just the oposite. If this is not the case and she is just saying hurtful things because she knows your buttons I say it's time to end things.

The only reason I am posing this question is that when my husband and I married we married with the aggrement that we would have sex with others. In the last 2 years I have found myself in a polyamarous relationship and he was not happy with this, he wanted to be swingers only which I am not happy with anymore so we are seperated now. Just an alternative view point to consider.

So when you met she was only 18? I hate to pry but did you marry and then have kids or was the marriage AFTER the kids. If so have you considered that perhaps it wasn't right to start.

Other than that all I can think is that you've been together throughout her youth and perhaps she thinks she "missed out". I know thats a horrible thing to say but I saw my mom's friend get divorced and now this woman acts like she's an irresponsible 20yr old because she married to young, had kids and woke up one day with regrets of a lost youth.

Yes that is a selfish way to think BUT it could be what she is thinking.

I am so sorry that you are going through this and you are NOT a loser, don't call yourself that. If a woman truly loves a man than a billionaire Brad pitt look-a-like will NEVER sway her.

Remember that we are all human and we all have flaws and we deserve love despite those flaws. If she doesn't love you, you can't make her and trying to will only make her recent you and in the end make you even more miserable.

If you want to save the marriage suggest a strategy 1) couples counselling or 2) trial seperation

If you go into counselling you BOTH have to be in 100%

If you decide on a trial seperation then take that time to worry about YOU and only YOU.

All the best and I so wish I had words of wisedom to ease your pain, but its the tough times that show us what we're made of.

First, true love you do not have to compete for, it is either there or it isn't. It doesn't matter how rich or poor you are, or many things your possess, the clothes you wear, etc, etc. TRUE LOVE IS BLIND--Unfortunately it is that way throughout the relationship. Do you not realize that if she loves you she would not hurt you that way. That was callous and mean thing to say. Evaluate you situation carefully. If you choose to stay you better get ready to be hurt alot. People like her sometimes get their kicks out of hurting people. I a power play. It is up to you ultimately what you are willing to live with. Sometimes love is not enough, especially when it is one sided.

1. She has more faults than 1 you just cant see them right now, no one is perfect
2. Your so incredibly down on yourself due to depression and this situation
3. Anyone who says I need to date so I know if you are the right one isnt looking to work things out, that to me is a cop out excuse and always will be. Either your in or your not
4. You shouldnt have to compete, she should see what she has right in front of her and if she cant then she loses out, not you

Are you talking to anyone, a professional I mean, your in the beginning stages of this and really seem to be having one heck of a time. Take care of you

First, I'm sorry about your troubles. That is a tough spot that your wife put you in and you have my sympathy.

Second, do you work now? Is there any way you can go to school? It sounds like you depend on her to some degree and you need to break from that. Put your energy and focus on you and in improving your situation and try not to focus on her. You seem to have some interests that could translate into careers (computers for instance). Just some thoughts. Stay strong.

This is really a mean thing of her to do. My ex put me in a position like this once--i stupidly dated him and continued to get my heart broken for the entire year. I know you feel like a loser but just try to hang in there.