If you've done all you can to save your marriage then it's time to walk. She's really fucking around on you? There's a lot to be said for self esteem. Because at the end of the day, that's may be all that you have left...your self esteem. How much you have remaining is up to you.

GSCH is right, be the man and hit the road. You'll be "permitted" to pay child support (that's the sign of a good dad, ya know) and be allowed the status of part time "visitor" while you're alone. Yes, they'll be other "hot chicks" out there, but you'll still pay for the "pussy" if you're not careful. Everyone has issues and things aren't cheap.

Love conquering all is a just pipe dream. The one constant that is real is your self esteem. We take that into and out of everything we do. So salvage that part of you and you'll better off my friend. Believe me, I've lost plenty.

How about:

See a lawyer.

Quit working two jobs. Let the house go. Put the money your parents gave you into first and last months rent on an apartment. See your kids. If you want 50/50 custody Go For It.

She'll have to get a job. She'll have to move. She'll have to quit spending a ton of money on nothing.

You will probably have to pay alimony. But if you stay doing what you're doing for the Next 10 years...you may end up paying alimony a lot longer. And it will be harder on both her and your kids to adjust.

Or move to PA before you get divorced. There's no paying alimony here if she cheated.

Oh heck Rman....just DO something. If you stay where you're at, you'll dig yourself deeper and deeper into dept. And she'll let you borrow money from your parents until they're tapped out.

Children do not thrive in an unhappy relationship environment....no matter how well people think they are hiding the unhappiness.

While your intentions are noble and you don't want to hurt them, this will backfire in alot of different ways if you continue to stay or let her stay. I didn't want to hurt my son either, but it was the lessor of all evils. I wouldn't have been a good mother to him if I had stayed and went insane!

Hope you are having some tacos tonight or doing atleast one thing just for yourself.

A. Don't move to PA. You'd still be knee-deep in spousal support, even if she cheated.

B. I know someone whose kids went on to graduate college, and get appointed to a military academy.

C. You know what you have to do. ;o)

Fairly new here Rman and sometimes I thought your OT stuff was kind of disruptive.
But after reading more I realize you are really hurting and I also think you're a good guy.
I can't offer you any advice but I think these good people know you much better and really do care. I wish you all the best and hope you take their advice to heart.

I agree with Patti......Do something!! Be proactive in your life.

Hope that didn't sound too harsh. I'm a wussy.

Rman, my brother was in your situation, (kind of). He decided to stick it out, until the girls graduated from High School.

I saw what it did to him, to know his wife was "probably" messing around. Yeah, he got a big beer gut!

Maybe you CAN put your foot down, and make her get off her ass and help support the household.

Divorce is expensive, and I have seen many men get screwed. For one, they don't get to spend as much time with their kids.

Best of luck to you!

You know what I have to say, I have been saying it for a loooooong time. Get a clue already and DO SOMETHING, whatever it is, just DO IT.