Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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On fire!

FogHornLegHorn
FogHornLegHorn

My stbxw picked up our daughter from my house yesterday, which is normal. I tell my daughter by, then I hear her voice, she was asking about mail that she was looking for. I haven't seen her or spoke other than text in awhile, for my own sake and sanity. The sound of her voice made every inch of my body feel like I was on fire. I couldn't look at her, I kept my head turned and answered her and she left without incident. But the emotions that her voice and presence brought up scares me to my core! How can I ever live like this, how can I ever move forward and get me better if I am still at this point? I am at the point I accept she isn't coming back, but I still can't let go. I want to get better and be better for who ever is in my future, but I am afraid I just am not strong enough. I keep hearing time heals all wounds, but am I not doing my part, what am I doing wrong that I am not progressing? Today has been a horrible day, I can't change my course of thinking, I can't get her out of my head! I am so not doing good. 

jimthzz
jimthzz
Start thinking of her as annoying bug, a buzzing fly.

I'm serious, replace your emotional view/response to her with one that is trivial. After awhile, your visceral response will change.
DaK
DaK
In reality, it can takes years. But it slowly gets better. it will not always feels so acute and raw. It took me about 5 years to get over the end of my marriage. But the raw pain took about a year or so. I'm sorry that there is no other way to get to the other side except to go through the fire. But it will happen. I promise. and now, 18 year after the breakup of my first marriage, my ex and i are friends. We talk just about daily, I've met his girlfriends and we all attend our children's events together. I'm at a point where I wish him the absolute best in life and would do anything for him. But it took me about 5 years to get to that point. It was hell on earth. I felt like the loneliest person on earth and was in so much pain I literally thought I would die. So I think I can get where you are coming from but I can also tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just cant tell you that you will get there fast. God Bless.
LawLaila135
LawLaila135
The first time I ever heard and believed that time heals is when my best friend at the time had told me this. I found it to be true for her and myself. It is a one day at a time process and it does not happen automatically but it will happen. Just stay believing. I am in my healing process and I have my challenges but I am slowly feeling better.
jimthzz
jimthzz
I recently saw a picture of my ex-wife visiting with her relatives and our daughter. I had not seen any picture, nor her in person in more than 2 years.

It didn't make me mad, or pull at heat strings.

My only impression was, oh, she looks older.

Then, my mind went towards, what did I ever see in that woman?

Then I moved on to googling dog pictures. ;)

Two years ago I'd have furious on seeing her.
basnime
basnime
I understand completely!! Five weeks into our separation and it is awful. My stbx can drop the kids off like they are not even his. He has totally detached. Why is it so easy for him. I am a spiritual person and I am so faithful to my marriage!! I hate that I am . Everyone else is out dating and having a good time. This is the worst feeling in the world