Getting hurt is part of life. What you'll have to decide is if he is worth any additional hurt that may come your way as a result of trying with him again.

And, if you two haven't resolved what made it fall apart before or in the least have had effective communication regarding how to work on what was/is wrong and have plans to actively fix it (I.E., his terrible communication)? Then odds are you'll end up in the same boat again in due time even if you two give it a shot again.

What do you want?

I went through something similar. He just couldn't decide, kept saying we would talk about it and nothing. So I decided for him and told him that was it, there will be no talking, we're done. I think you made the right choice. Its not fair to you and its difficult to be with someone who doesnt even know if they want to be with you or not. If you do end up back with him I really think you should make him wait like you waited. Not out of spite or anything like that but I think it would be healthier for you to give it time before making a decision. Think about what your going back to and try not to forget how it felt when he had you waiting. I'll tell you my ex did this to me many many times. I always waited and waited until he was ready. That's not way to live. Good luck :)

WOW Brooklyn,
I feel---just my feelings on your post, that it sounds like he has sensed a change in you---that you are not as desperate for him to come back. This seems like a horrible person, who will string you along and not really want anything to do with you UNTIL you finally are done with him. It is only a game to him, where as it is your life.
I don't think you really want to waste any more of your life on this jerk. It sounds like you are doing OK without him.

PLEASE remember if this person is an abuser and it sounds like he plays games like they do---
Abusers do and say ANYTHING to get you back. After they get you back slowly the abuse gets worse and worse all over again.
No one deserves to live with an abuser.
I hope you will go no contact, stick to it and have a wonderful life without this jerk who will only do the same things over again and make your life miserable.
Whatever you decide--good luck
((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

my stbe wants me back also, but I know he is still seeing that woman, anyways, even if he isn't, I can never forgive him for the hurt he cased me. I say, don't take him back

Hey Brooklynn I want what is best for you.

Relationships can be like this... back and forth. What my advice is to REALLY understand yourself. Know yourself and why the things happened that did. If you both don't grow from this, it can end up right back where you just left.

I've lived that way for years, it's not worth it as others have said!

I don't think he is a terrible person. I think it is normal human behavior to want something that you can't have. I'm not excusing his behavior by any means, just saying I don't think he is a terrible person. Gem, I agree with your post, don't think I don't, I just know him and I know he's a good person. That being said, maybe it is time to end things and count our losses... I did some bad things to him too. When we lived together we got engaged and I cheated on him. He forgave me, but other problems arose. We love each other, I know that, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

I know that there are other people out there for me and if I end things with him I will find someone else. This is hard though and I don't know what to do.

i have experienced this before, personally and some friends of mine, where you said, "now, after I finally decided it was enough he wants me back?"

it does sound like he wants to play a game. either the grass isn't really greener w/o you, or he sees you really can/will move on, and that you've "actually felt better lately too", so he wants to pull the strings and reel you back in. i could certainly be wrong, just my opinion, but: i find it really fishy that he now says he told you back then that he wanted you back but somehow he didn't make it clear??? to me, if that is what he really wanted, he'd have made it clear. even if he's a bad communicator, i have many male friends that are HORRIBLE ones, but when it come to the woman they love, they FIND a way to make it crystal clear. and you are a smart lady. to me, that is him trying to manipulate the situation to try to confuse you, when deep down you know he didn't say that to you.

yes i know you feel bad that you have hurt him in the past. but it is ok to forgive yourself. you have apologized to him and truly tried to make amends. he'd have to truly forgive you too, and not throw it in your face, if he wanted to really be with you from here forward. we are all human, we all make mistakes, we have to forgive ourselves if we want to have functional lives. and until you do forgive yourself, he will have that string to pull to manipulate you if he wants to (not saying he will, but it sort of sounds like that might be what he's trying to do..)

my stbxh is trying many of these same tactics too. but i'm realizing that many people want what they can't have, or they want to go see what else is out there in the world and think they can just pick you right back up when the world out there isn't all they wanted it to be. so yes, it is ultimately up to you and i truly want you to be happy, but this sounds like concerning behavior on his part, to me. if it ever ended again, all of the pain you've worked SO hard to get over could come back. gotta consider that when you are weighing what to do. big hugs and lots of support to you.