Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
my first time trying to talk about this, not sure where to start. I met my husband and we were pregnant pretty quick, found out after that he was cheating on his then wife...I should've known better right there.
Anyway, fast forward we were married for 11 years, together for 16 and about 8 years ago we moved to a new state. He started getting more controlling, little by little. Friends I made he was great with, until i tried to go out with just the girls. When finances got tight i tried to get work, and he said only if it was while he was working, otherwise it would take away from family time. My own fault for letting him get control. I tried to leave about 6 years ago, then got pregnant(our 4th) then again 2 years ago. He would lay the guilt on that wasnt our family and kids worth trying again. That I was just being crazy for thinking he was doing anything else with any one else, because he of course had no time since he was working so much. I never had any proof, just my gut feeling.
In Feb of this year, we became friends with another couple, and we became like best friends, and our kids were friends. Ideal right? In May I got a call from the husband that he had to show me something. He had proof that my husband and his wife had been messing around. Two weeks later, I got a call from another man. His wife and my husband had been dating for the past year. That was my final straw.
For months he was trying to get me to give him another chance, try counseling, church, anything he would do to make it right. Even told me the truth, that over the past 8 years there has been a couple other women. The women, on top of the control, I just know it would never work again. Plus I no longer love him. That ended years ago.
So anyway, sorry so much in my head :/ anyway, he has been asking to come back home, and try, and I finally told him a couple weeks ago that i will never be able to forget it, that i forgive him, but i will never be able to trust him again.
Considering he has a very volatile temper, he has been surprisingly calm..very very sad and emotional, but i think he is trying to guilt me. I want to keep things as peaceful between us as possible for the kids sake.
This past weekend a new woman moved in with him. She isn't his girlfriend yet, but it is headed that way because she wants it and he likes her... really?? It's been just over 3 months??!!??
My emotions are all over the place with this...I kinda feel like he should be suffering more. I mean he ruined our family and 2 other families, why should he be able to find someone else so fast. I cant even fathom trying to get out to date again, and he has someone living with him. One second i want to cry, the next i want to scream and yell, and I just dont know what to do.
Im not looking for answers, or someone to tell me what to do, just feedback, is this okay what im feeling? i know it is lengthy, and that me trying to keep it simple...thank u for reading till the end
Anyway, fast forward we were married for 11 years, together for 16 and about 8 years ago we moved to a new state. He started getting more controlling, little by little. Friends I made he was great with, until i tried to go out with just the girls. When finances got tight i tried to get work, and he said only if it was while he was working, otherwise it would take away from family time. My own fault for letting him get control. I tried to leave about 6 years ago, then got pregnant(our 4th) then again 2 years ago. He would lay the guilt on that wasnt our family and kids worth trying again. That I was just being crazy for thinking he was doing anything else with any one else, because he of course had no time since he was working so much. I never had any proof, just my gut feeling.
In Feb of this year, we became friends with another couple, and we became like best friends, and our kids were friends. Ideal right? In May I got a call from the husband that he had to show me something. He had proof that my husband and his wife had been messing around. Two weeks later, I got a call from another man. His wife and my husband had been dating for the past year. That was my final straw.
For months he was trying to get me to give him another chance, try counseling, church, anything he would do to make it right. Even told me the truth, that over the past 8 years there has been a couple other women. The women, on top of the control, I just know it would never work again. Plus I no longer love him. That ended years ago.
So anyway, sorry so much in my head :/ anyway, he has been asking to come back home, and try, and I finally told him a couple weeks ago that i will never be able to forget it, that i forgive him, but i will never be able to trust him again.
Considering he has a very volatile temper, he has been surprisingly calm..very very sad and emotional, but i think he is trying to guilt me. I want to keep things as peaceful between us as possible for the kids sake.
This past weekend a new woman moved in with him. She isn't his girlfriend yet, but it is headed that way because she wants it and he likes her... really?? It's been just over 3 months??!!??
My emotions are all over the place with this...I kinda feel like he should be suffering more. I mean he ruined our family and 2 other families, why should he be able to find someone else so fast. I cant even fathom trying to get out to date again, and he has someone living with him. One second i want to cry, the next i want to scream and yell, and I just dont know what to do.
Im not looking for answers, or someone to tell me what to do, just feedback, is this okay what im feeling? i know it is lengthy, and that me trying to keep it simple...thank u for reading till the end
I know you said not to tell you what to do, but I can't help but say, please take good care of yourself and honor whatever feelings come up. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. And it helps to honor them so they can be released.
You might want to check out the physical & emotional abuse group here on DS. There are many there who are or have been where you are now. http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical-Emotional-Abuse/support-group
~healing hugs~
You may not think so now but your life will get better. It will take time and you will feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotions. Just acknowledge whatever you are feeling at the time.Gradually the good feelings will last longer than the bad. One day you will realize he hasn't been in your thoughts for a day then a week. You will know you are starting to heal.