yes. i married one.

Yes. Though they need to wear signs b/c I would shrink to nothing if I ended up with one!

My ex would get that way after being with me for a few months, and getting in his depressed state, as apposed to i guess his manic one.

I used to hug my wife...she would like it for a sec, then all of a sudden blurt out negative things so that the hug wouldn't take place. It was as if she was afraid of affection, or got that same type of feeling by acting negative. By affection, I would begin at, "hello, how was your day?"
fuck the drama. chicks who dig drama can move along to the the next person...

maybe she was afraid you would let her go.. so she let you go first

The sad part is that I would never have let her go. But, I can't argue with what she felt at the time. If she was insecure about me leaving her, it's only because we had kids and took on other priorities. I only wish we would have made more of an effort to connect and make time for each other after the kids. Oh well...shit happens...I'm shit out of fucking luck...I guess I just have to suck it the fuck up...right?

My what naughty language!

Yep...I married on too.

Embrace the suck as my drill sergeant used to say.
My instincts are telling me that no, there are not people out there who don't really like affection. They just don't like affection from the partner de jour. But is they meet someone who floats their boat, yeah, they will suck up the affection like a sponge.
Kinda harsh but for me it feels true.

I was a very affectionate person...still am with my son (like crazee) but I actually shrink away when my guy friends have reached out to hug me.

I'm sad about that.

I used to be the one shrinking away from physical affection. Now I don't have enough of it and I crave it. For me it was more about not knowing whether those arms were just recently wrapped around her or not. I didn't trust him anymore and once I lost that trust, I didn't want to be emotionally close to him, so I backed off physically.

I have to disagree with my friend Siege. Some people are just not affectionate, not even at the start of a relationship when they adore you. Maybe they weren't modeled affection (I know my stbx's mom is not affectionate at ALL)....or it is genetic. I don't know, but it exists.

He didn't even know how to show affection.....he would pat on me like you would on a dog or something. I laughed at it and told him it was weird. I think maybe it is learned. I don't think he saw his parents being affectionate with each other, since they had a very troubled marriage.

It's Impossible for one person to do it alone.

My ex would offer to get a babysitter (rarely) so we could go out. But what he totally ignored was how completely exhaused I was. I didn't WANT to go out. I wanted to sleep. I wanted him to take the kids out. Or get a babysitter for the afternoon, so I could sleep.

But he didn't want to do THOSE things. He got ANGRY when I told him what I needed.

If he did take the kids for an hour or two, he acted like I should be completely recovered.

It was amazing after he left. I finally get the sleep I really needed. And my personality changed completely. My thought processes changed completely.

All I'm saying is that you can talk/think about what Should have happened, but you never had the power to make it happen all alone.

I think that some are more affectionate, more "touchy" than others, sure. But, if the advent of affection is piggy-backed by an aversion to it, it is coming from somewhere emotional. There is a disconnect.

I believe that. I did it.

Yes..I married one too.

i used to joke around with him and tell him that his mommy didnt hug him enough when he was a kid. And I was right.

My ex MIL is not affectionate either. She taught him how to disconnect at a very early age. He had a horrific childhood and that makes me incredibly sad. Im not placing blame, but it makes me feel most definitely that shit rolls downhill.

Nature vs Nurture... I think so!