Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Okay, need advice on this one. Ran into guy that I went to high school with, nice guy, newly divorced as well. We talk for a few and he invites me to meet him for lunch. The vibe I got was two former high school mates talking about recent divorce and how weird life was being alone after so many years.
Well we have lunch and I now realize he's viewing this as a romantic date! Aargh! He asked me out to dinner and I told him I would have to look at my schedule but would let him know. He's a nice guy, attractive, owns his own business etc but I'm just not quite ready for dinner which would probably lead to another. He might be perfect for e in 6 mos or a year but just not now.
Did I lead him on? How do I say no thanks without burning that bridge. Ugh. I haven't had to do this for 15 years and now I feel very awkward. Any advice from the newly dating?
Well we have lunch and I now realize he's viewing this as a romantic date! Aargh! He asked me out to dinner and I told him I would have to look at my schedule but would let him know. He's a nice guy, attractive, owns his own business etc but I'm just not quite ready for dinner which would probably lead to another. He might be perfect for e in 6 mos or a year but just not now.
Did I lead him on? How do I say no thanks without burning that bridge. Ugh. I haven't had to do this for 15 years and now I feel very awkward. Any advice from the newly dating?
We can all do things to protect our dignity. Be aware of what we're doing. How were being viewed and move forward making conscious choices on how we want our lives to go in our time.
Don't waste time being angry, and trying to school the world on how you think it should be run. You're very free with your opinion yet are offended when someone else has one.. relax furb. Life's to short. Make a friend.
Listen when I've been struggling to put my life back together, crying until I'm a soggy mess, and praying to God for help, it's quite insulting.
Funny how none of these men just offered to cut my grass or asked if I could pay my electric bill out of the goodness of their heart.
I'm just sharing a little sisterly advice. When women are emotionally vulnerable, it's just too darn easy to fall into the trap of seeking love and emotional support when all the other is interested in is a notch or two on their bedpost.
It hurts.
I did not mean offense to the individuals who are here clearly looking to heal and get healthy, and not out there preying on the emotionally vulnerable.
If I wasn't so tired of all this BS, I'd call his wife. Truthfully i can't be bothered.
To me it seems from your #7 reply that this guy is pushing to fast and to hard. People who push at times when I feel I want to be cautious is a total turn off for me. I feel it is a early warning sign that they don't listen or care about my feelings.
Just tell him the truth and this will be a test for him. If he doesn't like it or still continues to push, for me, that would be a red flag, and I would happily burn that bridge.----That is just me!!!
Some people, men or women can read ANYTHING into a simple lunch, and that is on them, not on you.
Stick to your gut feelings.
Being a man I do understand that women can feel threatened or even perceived as sex objects. I try hard to overcome my instinct to be that way, but honestly it is natural instinct for men to view women sexually. The key factor in that analogy is that NOT ALL MEN act on their instinct and treat women badly. I must say that I too was offended at the comments stated about men in this post, but I also understand how and why the poster felt that way. It is not fair to lump or judge all men the same just as it is not fair to do that to a woman. Trust me I have been through A LOT of shitty relationships and used more times than I can even count, but I do not say all women are that way.
As for the OP I say you do what you want. Be honest with him and just say your not ready for any kind of a relationship other than friends. If he dosent take your opinion and feelings into account and give you time than he really was looking to reassure his manhood. I have seen both men and women go straight to the bedroom after a divorce and sometimes with many partners to make themselves feel desirable again.
I wish you luck.
Thats all I was trying to point out. Thank you.
I get it now
You are a turd
Fur baby , so I'm angry at being dissed purely because I'm a man and I'm to blame
Ok I'll pass on you as a friend
Keep your PC smoke blowing for some douche like yourself
There now you can feel comfortable on your man hating
Let's be clear, the bullshit stereotyping of men using women for sex and women using men for money is just that - stereotyping. Does it happen? Yes, because both parties allow it to happen. When you look at it that way the fault lies with both the man and the woman. Each has to agree or it doesn't happen. He doesn't get that ego boost or notch in the bed post unless she spreads her legs and she isn't the gold digger unless he hands her the money.
I am a man and have been burned by every woman I have ever been in a relationship with. Everyone of them left me for another man but that doesn't make me think the next one will. Those of you who feel the opposite are going to have miserable relationships in the future.
Sarah, just take care of your heart and emotions because as we all know others, male and female, have their own agendas. It's up to us to take care of our own emotional lives.
Have a blessed day