I'm not currently dating but would say if it feels right do it. If it doesn't be honest and tell him why. If he really likes you he'll wait until you're ready.

I'd be honest and say it's just too soon if that's the case.

If you're not ready and you do it anyway it will end in disaster and you'll be back here feeling twice as crappy as you do now.

RGL is right. If he's seriously interested and not just looking for a one nighter he'll be available in six months.

Be careful. Many nearly divorced people will tell you how they come crawling out from under rock looking for sex. Period.

Make sure you look out for your emotions and heart.

I guess my fear was I led him on unintentionally. I thought it was a casual kunch for two people newly in the trenches and he thought it was the start of something romantic. I'm terrible at navigating this stuff.

They want an ego boost. Be careful.

Us women can totally identify with just a sit down for lunch to discuss things. Men's minds tend to immediately go to their pants. I mean if you're able to go out to lunch you might be up for a quickie!! Lol. Sorry guys.

How do you know for sure it is of a romantic nature right now?

If it is for sure, then I would talk to him straight out. Tell him just what you told us here. The whole attractive, and that if this was 6mos from now etc. If he is looking for a relationship, he will be Ok with a friendship right now and keep in touch. If he is looking for a anything else, you will know and he will most likely be gone.

Just remember to always take it at your pace. As long as you are honest with him or anyone, its on them to how they handle the issue and what they do. You may even be glad you did.

I thought it was romantic because we ended on a "we'll have to do this again sometime" and since he is texting me daily and sending me selfies of himself (nothing crude just him smiling, that kind of thing) then he texted me that he really liked my Facebook pic. I'm just getting that romantic vibe and now he is asking about dinner. I've been putting him off but I don't want to burn the bridge for maybe a later time? I'm terrible at this.

You need to tell him you're not interested in anything romantic at this time or you will be leading him on.

Clear day
Pretty presumptive "they want an ego boost"

As for how to play it?

Be honest, tell the guy you are reeling and not able to be a good friend and leave it at that

It is honest because you don't have the energy to put into trying to discern what he may be looking for
And really you aren't in piston to be a friend that someone can lean on

If he offers to let you mean on him
Tell him that right now you are better laying down and healing

Sorry refurb but it's not presumtive in my experience. Until you've been propositioned by your neighbors husband, your married dentist and every creep who somehow heard your husband is out for good, you may not understand what it feels like.

Its certainly not because I'm advertising, promiscuous, or giving away money

So men suck?

I'm not a woman hater even though my small town school teacher used her female co workers house to fuck around

Conniving decitful bitches

The coworker to whom I referred came on to me while I was married
Not too mention done other upstanding ladies of the community


So clear day , do I presume that every woman that is nice to me wants to use me as I be been used


Your logic lumps me into the same catagory
You may use the name clear day but
I say I say
You don't seem to be seeing clearly
All cloudy and such

Too bad.

Honestly. You're offended and that's just too bad. Deal with.it.

Or don't.

Your choice.

Clear enough?

ClearDay: I was about to hit on you because you didn't mentioned anything about someone online or on DS hitting on you now we know your husband is out. So I figured that would help complete the list.

But then I saw your post #11 and decided... whats in it for me then? ;)

hehehe...

kidding of course.

My 2 cents. Clear I agree! This one is a woman's prospective. When you've been hit on buy every garbage man, single neighbor and every man hound in the neighborhood, it's hard to know what to do.

Personally speaking, if I were comfortable with the person, I would just say "well, maybe not dinner. I think I'm in more of a lunch in a very busy restaurant type of mood. These days".

Quite honestly that should be enough. We women who are trying to move forward should not have to be watching for every pebble on the sidewalk of life,so we won't stumble and brake a hip.

I think you should just be honest. Hold nothing back. Tell him you would like to have lunch. That it's too soon for a dinner date. That you're taking it slow. He having gone through a divorce will probably understand.

Don't hide anything. You can't burn a bridge that isn't built yet. Truth is you can try to be super careful and watch your p's and q's And over think it all. You can worry about how it might look in 6 months or a year, but if this guy is worth his salt he will be ok with and respect you for your decision.

If not it's just another one way street that will end poorly. It's ok to say yes with boundaries! No disrespect to any man out there. But it is different when you're a female and trying not to look like something your not.