Glad to hear you have no denial, unfortunately that doesn't stop people from hurting. Try to slowly gain momentum in your life and peace will come. It will not come right away and you will have to work for it but it will come. Hope you feel better. :)

Jon

Thankyou I feel awful on my kids but I panicked and couldn't leave the house. I've ended up calling school an saying they are sick. I don't feel strong to carry on with normal life

The pain feels at times unbearable! Remember that your kids will suffer with you. Unfortunately, you have no choice but to resume as normal a life as possible for them. They did not ask for this turmoil and you need to be a pinnacle of strength even when you don't think you can put one foot in front of the other. This is probably not what you want to hear. As the ones who are left behind, blindsided, not wanting the divorce we are faced with unenviable task of not only dealing with our own anger and betrayal but also keeping life as normal and as pleasant as possible for our kids. Remind yourself frequently that your children are the priority!

I know I'll have to go docs and get something for anxiety as it just overcome me an I just couldn't leave the house. I have non stop kept busy since I found out last wed. An I've hardly ate or slept , I just think I hit a wall today an my body is saying slow down. School knows what's going on so I called an explained this morn that I will be back to normal school etc tomora just couldn't face the world today. Ive been devorced before to my childrens dad and dealt with that but being cheated on by my partner who was my best friend and who i thought adored me has been the most painful experience ever, but it is true my kids come first an I will get myself well for them

Being cheated on by someone who is supposed to love and respect you is the ultimate act of betrayal. I am speaking from experience. But we have no control over their actions and in the long run, we will ultimately be the winners. We are the strong, they are the weak, we are the moral, they are the immoral, we will whole, they will always have a hole in their soul.

Your words are so true! Thankyou. Thank goodness my children have their dad who's in a stable relationship an started a new family, I'm just nervous for when they leave me on the nights they sleep in his as I haven't been alone yet since I found out. I know it sounds selfish but they keep me safe from myself and how I deal with my pain xxx big hugs to you

I am very sorry this is all happening to you... seems to me the fact that you see that this is all real is a good step in the right direction so just keep headed in the right direction and we will all get through together ... you and I are pretty new to this but at least we know we're not alone .

This is a real difficult time your going through. Accept all the help you can get. I feel for you. The 1st 3 weeks for me were dark times. I went through a lot. You will make it. Time and hope. Keep believing and stay strong.
-HUGS-

Hope is a beacon of light, many of us have made it
thru the real bad times. The healing, growing and
changing takes time, After the divorce and decree
the healing can start.

Grieving your losses is a process, look up the stages
Of grief. Divorce care helps a lot with grief, i had rage
Toward my ex, i have it simmered down now to healthy
Anger that is slowly dissipating in intensity.

I actually embrace my healthy anger now, its not inward
or toward just anyone it just is anger. It propels change
and Growth.

Some in my divorce care group could not get angry i
Think they were too medded up to feel their feelings
And emotions. HUGS

It took me 6-7 weeks. Im sure Recovery times vary from person to person. The shock will reverberate for a little while but eventually it goes quiet, or becomes a dull roar that daily activities can overahadow. Im not mr happy per se, but i can actively function once again. Start a countdown clock. For me the month of January was conpletely written off. Its my birthday today and im not getting my around the world that i always look forward to. I could choose to be bummed out about it but instead i spent the morning lawyer shopping (damn are they expensive) getting my kids to snd from school and i have work tonight. Tomorrows another day and yea its fuckin valentines day so no around the world round 2 either. Augh....whatever. ill survive sexual starvation as well. Ive always been over-the-top in that dept but 1 i like my rabbit personality and have no interest in chaging, and 2 makes me supress (not really) the question, where did she find the frickin time? Augh, acceptance. Let it go. Whatever

I was the same that's why I was so shocked when I found out, wasn't like he was deprived in anyway in fact he turned me down often. An now I know why. Oh well I got my lil onexercise in bed with me tonight watching a kids film an wriggling everywhere , not the most comfortable sleep but nice to not sleep on my own.