Ruinril - what you're experiencing is very difficult for everyone. Its so hard to break up with someone even though the relationship is not healthy anymore, but they also become our best friend in the process. You're experiencing grief and its very very hard. I know that I will soon have to experiencing more grief when my marriage finally ends. Actually I feel grief now just thinking about it. Try and think about the reasons you broke up in the first place and lean to tolerate your feelings of lonliness. It is hard for sure but you can make it.

what was the reason for your breakup?

In her words, she did not 'feel a connection.' I was feeling somewhat similar but was really willing to give it a chance especially because I thought our personalities matched. But this seems to be a pattern with her because before me she dated a bunch of guys and it ended because of the same thing. Obviously all I can do is be myself. It really makes no sense because from my point of view there were so many signs that she was really into me and wanted a long term relationship. For example, almost right away wanting me to meet her parents and grandmother, which I did. And making a reservation for a trip together to the beach. These sorts of things. I don't know. Mixed signals are so frustrating! One minute she wants me and the next goodbye! I just feel like she didn't give it a proper chance and ended it prematurely. This isn't high school anymore. You can't expect to feel all these warm and fuzzy feelings right away. And I feel like that is what she is chasing after.

No contact will help the healing process. Sorry that you are experiencing such a difficult time. You will come out strong out of the experience.

I wish that I could go no contact sometimes. I think that in the beginning it would be hard but eventually it would get easier and easier. I hate that I have to communicate with my husband so much. He hurts me over and over again and I feel like I have to just take it because of the kids. As hard as it is for you, hang in there. Consider yourself lucky that you can cut all ties, really heal and find someone who will really appreciate you.

I'm also suffering the horribleness that is no contact as the one who was broke up with. It's damn hard to not talk to somebody you love and miss so much. I always cared more about her than myself, now I just feel lost.

My major struggle is having no contact, as I believe no contact is the key. If I had stuck to no contact over a month ago I wouldn't still be hurting to this degree now. Please stay strong and in time it will get easier. Dwelling on it (which I do all day long) is probably the worst thing to do.

Yup. No contact is the FIRST thing a therapist will tell you to do. Because it works. Count your blessings that you are not forced to face your ex every day and that in your case the 'no contact' rule is totally in your hands. Otherwise it can be very very difficult! And focus on the aspects of the relationship/ex that were negative and did not work for you. That will help as well.

It will get better! It always does!

I agree - NC can be very difficult and am finding myself if this situation now. It's been 7 weeks since I have last heard from him and that last conversation was begging for an understanding of what happened.

Now, I just want to reach out to him and say EVERYTHING that's on my mind and tell him what an evil person he is.

However, I know NC is a part of the healing process and as much as I want to do it, it's not going to solve anything but make me feel even more upset, especially if he doesn't return the communication even though he was the one in error in the break up.

Stay strong. I know it's hard, but I think we all have been there in some form or way.

yes it is extremely hard to do. i was tempted every day to contact her but i did not. There were times i written emails and texts and almost push the send button but by the help of God I didn't push the send button. I really thought I was stronger than this. I am learning that I am not as strong as I thought. I thought I was getting over her only to realize I'm not even close. Not even half way there. Sometimes I want to burn everything that reminds me of her. Like my car, my bed, my whole house, and basically everything. Thank God it is just a feeling. I would be homeless with no form of transportation had I acted on those feelings of desperation. I have faith that I will eventually get over this. I have confidence that I will be over this and my heart will be whole once again. So try your very best to hang tough. Prayers out to all out there suffering from breakup/divorce. God bless

Hi, there. No contact is really hard, especially the first few days, but hang in there. Once you learn to breathe without your ex being such a prominent focus in your life, you will refocus on yourself and healing. Keep staying NC. It does get easier, and eventually you will hit a point where contacting your ex won't even be something you think about. I know the last thing you want to do is go out, but try and find some activity to take your mind of your ex... Walks, take a nap, read a book, write in a journal. Just something to keep you busy during those hard times. Identify the time of day you struggle hardest, and have a game plan in order to help combat the urge. You can do it!

1 1/2 years later, I still struggle with No Contact

But it helps to adhere to

and I always get upset when I break it