Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
We\'ll this is going to sound very strange.
I think spending sunday evening with my ex acctually helped me realize alot of things. We spoke at length about our situation, the problems we had in our marriage and so on. This morning we also spoke... and to be honest, I feel better about the whole situation.
Now the hard part...
Have you ever had something, someone so great and never realized it and pushed them so far away untill the love is gone? That\'s what happend to us. I\'ve been asking myself, "how could I have been so blind..?" but in some cases, you have really have NO idea what you got untill it is gone. You know, I always considered myself a VERY independant person, never needed anymore, was always very strong. Since she told me she wanted to end our relationship i\'ve been a wreck. And have been blaiming her for all of it. Which was a very selfish thing to do... I need this, she needs this..
Sometimes we need things like this to kick us in our ass\'s. I have problem\'s, my bi-polar is going nuts, my depression is at a very scary level, anxiety aswell. And im finally going to ask for help. Not for her, for me. I want to be the guy she fell in love with 7 years ago, not for her. But for me. This whole time i\'ve been so caught up in what SHE\'S doing, and how well she\'s been that I have totally forgotten about the most important person. Myself.
I am having a very hard time not being in control, knowing I cannot go back and do the things i should have done...like buy her an anniversary gift for our 5th...Christmas Gift this past year...simple I love you\'s, affection. Should have been more open..and you know what im OK! with all of it. I\'ve made my mistakes, she made her\'s. I will not make them again, she should have been treated like a princess and i treated her like a maid..just some friend..someone who was always around. Now she\'s gone and I have a huge hole in the middle of my chest.
Very strange how screwed up humans are!!..lol. I\'ve been with this woman for 7 years, and for a good 5 of thoes year\'s I never had a clue. I am going to take this, put it into my Wes Version 2.0 and move forward. I cannot stay in mentally, emotionally in a relationship thats not even exsisting... ive been putting so much blame on her, which was very unfair. I have to take my part in while this marriage failed.
I still love her very much , as a friend and as a lover...In time I would like to just love her as a friend, just because the "husband and Wife" part of our relationship has ended, our "Wes and Kee good friends" should not.
This went on a little longer then expected, probably should have went in a journal...but oh well!!
Take Care,
-Wes
I think spending sunday evening with my ex acctually helped me realize alot of things. We spoke at length about our situation, the problems we had in our marriage and so on. This morning we also spoke... and to be honest, I feel better about the whole situation.
Now the hard part...
Have you ever had something, someone so great and never realized it and pushed them so far away untill the love is gone? That\'s what happend to us. I\'ve been asking myself, "how could I have been so blind..?" but in some cases, you have really have NO idea what you got untill it is gone. You know, I always considered myself a VERY independant person, never needed anymore, was always very strong. Since she told me she wanted to end our relationship i\'ve been a wreck. And have been blaiming her for all of it. Which was a very selfish thing to do... I need this, she needs this..
Sometimes we need things like this to kick us in our ass\'s. I have problem\'s, my bi-polar is going nuts, my depression is at a very scary level, anxiety aswell. And im finally going to ask for help. Not for her, for me. I want to be the guy she fell in love with 7 years ago, not for her. But for me. This whole time i\'ve been so caught up in what SHE\'S doing, and how well she\'s been that I have totally forgotten about the most important person. Myself.
I am having a very hard time not being in control, knowing I cannot go back and do the things i should have done...like buy her an anniversary gift for our 5th...Christmas Gift this past year...simple I love you\'s, affection. Should have been more open..and you know what im OK! with all of it. I\'ve made my mistakes, she made her\'s. I will not make them again, she should have been treated like a princess and i treated her like a maid..just some friend..someone who was always around. Now she\'s gone and I have a huge hole in the middle of my chest.
Very strange how screwed up humans are!!..lol. I\'ve been with this woman for 7 years, and for a good 5 of thoes year\'s I never had a clue. I am going to take this, put it into my Wes Version 2.0 and move forward. I cannot stay in mentally, emotionally in a relationship thats not even exsisting... ive been putting so much blame on her, which was very unfair. I have to take my part in while this marriage failed.
I still love her very much , as a friend and as a lover...In time I would like to just love her as a friend, just because the "husband and Wife" part of our relationship has ended, our "Wes and Kee good friends" should not.
This went on a little longer then expected, probably should have went in a journal...but oh well!!
Take Care,
-Wes
We spoke about the possibility in the future of getting back together. and it is a possibility. But we both need to work on ourselves first. We were married at 18..she was my first REAL relationship, to be honest...my first everything. I think it would be best if we both, took some time, see what other people have to offer us and if then...we still cannot find what we can offer eachother...then something may happen =) But i\'m trying not to focus on it..As much as i want to.
It\'s strange, she started seeing someone very soon after she wanted to split, so she had already dealt with the emotions of losing me because i was pushing her away so slowly for so many years. We\'ll that month long relationship just ended, and she\'s pretty messed up about it...we were sitting there just feeling sad for eachother and I thought how weird is this...Im sitting here talking to my ex wife about how much i miss her..and my ex wife is talking to me about her Ex-BF and how much she misses him..lol...that hurt at first, but i just have to remember she already greived...she has been greiving for years as i pushed her away..which is why were on different level\'s right now.
She said 20% chance yes, and 80% chance no.
I beat the percentages. So it can happen, it was a long and worthwhile process. Wasn\'t easy either.
Down the line i guess we sometimes lose some of the glue that was binding us together...
Im\' glad to hear your situation worked out TD =D
I really do.
And I blamed myself in the beginning for everything.
Now , with time , I see that it was both that dropped the ball. The difference is , I would have dome anything ti fix things.
She just wanted out.
I think people need to realize this stuff for themselfs ya know? its sad but sometimes people will never realize it..im just glad i did..a little to late but better late then never..
Being aware is a huge milestone. Keep up the good work and try focus on getting well so you can attract your lady back to you.
That probably means giving up the jack.
msde cautions you, and I agree ... Healing is not a straight line.
Godspeed
I suffered throughout all this, and eventually we got divorced and I found myself in another relationship....this made my ex suffer a lot. once that relationshp stopped, he was there to help me through the healing process. He offered me the moon to return to him...but by then it what too late. i had suffered way to much and had pleaded way to many times during two years prior to my relationship and had moved on.
its been about 17 years since we separated and are very good friends. he introduced me to his new girlfriend back then, who he eventually married. we would have dinners together and i gave them my blessing when they got married.
when there are two good people involved, who heal and are willing to forgive, life has a way of settling itself.
keep working toward peace, self enhancement and you and your ex will receive many rewards.