Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
We\'ll this is going to sound very strange.
I think spending sunday evening with my ex acctually helped me realize alot of things. We spoke at length about our situation, the problems we had in our marriage and so on. This morning we also spoke... and to be honest, I feel better about the whole situation.
Now the hard part...
Have you ever had something, someone so great and never realized it and pushed them so far away untill the love is gone? That\'s what happend to us. I\'ve been asking myself, "how could I have been so blind..?" but in some cases, you have really have NO idea what you got untill it is gone. You know, I always considered myself a VERY independant person, never needed anymore, was always very strong. Since she told me she wanted to end our relationship i\'ve been a wreck. And have been blaiming her for all of it. Which was a very selfish thing to do... I need this, she needs this..
Sometimes we need things like this to kick us in our ass\'s. I have problem\'s, my bi-polar is going nuts, my depression is at a very scary level, anxiety aswell. And im finally going to ask for help. Not for her, for me. I want to be the guy she fell in love with 7 years ago, not for her. But for me. This whole time i\'ve been so caught up in what SHE\'S doing, and how well she\'s been that I have totally forgotten about the most important person. Myself.
I am having a very hard time not being in control, knowing I cannot go back and do the things i should have done...like buy her an anniversary gift for our 5th...Christmas Gift this past year...simple I love you\'s, affection. Should have been more open..and you know what im OK! with all of it. I\'ve made my mistakes, she made her\'s. I will not make them again, she should have been treated like a princess and i treated her like a maid..just some friend..someone who was always around. Now she\'s gone and I have a huge hole in the middle of my chest.
Very strange how screwed up humans are!!..lol. I\'ve been with this woman for 7 years, and for a good 5 of thoes year\'s I never had a clue. I am going to take this, put it into my Wes Version 2.0 and move forward. I cannot stay in mentally, emotionally in a relationship thats not even exsisting... ive been putting so much blame on her, which was very unfair. I have to take my part in while this marriage failed.
I still love her very much , as a friend and as a lover...In time I would like to just love her as a friend, just because the "husband and Wife" part of our relationship has ended, our "Wes and Kee good friends" should not.
This went on a little longer then expected, probably should have went in a journal...but oh well!!
Take Care,
-Wes
I think spending sunday evening with my ex acctually helped me realize alot of things. We spoke at length about our situation, the problems we had in our marriage and so on. This morning we also spoke... and to be honest, I feel better about the whole situation.
Now the hard part...
Have you ever had something, someone so great and never realized it and pushed them so far away untill the love is gone? That\'s what happend to us. I\'ve been asking myself, "how could I have been so blind..?" but in some cases, you have really have NO idea what you got untill it is gone. You know, I always considered myself a VERY independant person, never needed anymore, was always very strong. Since she told me she wanted to end our relationship i\'ve been a wreck. And have been blaiming her for all of it. Which was a very selfish thing to do... I need this, she needs this..
Sometimes we need things like this to kick us in our ass\'s. I have problem\'s, my bi-polar is going nuts, my depression is at a very scary level, anxiety aswell. And im finally going to ask for help. Not for her, for me. I want to be the guy she fell in love with 7 years ago, not for her. But for me. This whole time i\'ve been so caught up in what SHE\'S doing, and how well she\'s been that I have totally forgotten about the most important person. Myself.
I am having a very hard time not being in control, knowing I cannot go back and do the things i should have done...like buy her an anniversary gift for our 5th...Christmas Gift this past year...simple I love you\'s, affection. Should have been more open..and you know what im OK! with all of it. I\'ve made my mistakes, she made her\'s. I will not make them again, she should have been treated like a princess and i treated her like a maid..just some friend..someone who was always around. Now she\'s gone and I have a huge hole in the middle of my chest.
Very strange how screwed up humans are!!..lol. I\'ve been with this woman for 7 years, and for a good 5 of thoes year\'s I never had a clue. I am going to take this, put it into my Wes Version 2.0 and move forward. I cannot stay in mentally, emotionally in a relationship thats not even exsisting... ive been putting so much blame on her, which was very unfair. I have to take my part in while this marriage failed.
I still love her very much , as a friend and as a lover...In time I would like to just love her as a friend, just because the "husband and Wife" part of our relationship has ended, our "Wes and Kee good friends" should not.
This went on a little longer then expected, probably should have went in a journal...but oh well!!
Take Care,
-Wes
You treated you wife like my stbx treated me our entire 24 years together, but is still blaming me.
I wish stbx could see this...but it doesn\'t matter any more as I have gone on in my life.
It probablly wouldn\'t even phase him if he did see this. Kudos to you and I wish you much happiness and love as you move ahead and learn from your mistakes!
You are ahead of alot of our ex\'s in realizing this Wes. Kudos to you!
We\'ll to be honest with you, if it makes it even .01% easier thinking about it....I had no damn clue I was doing what I was doing. It\'s sad and most people say, "Are you retarded?" and i reply always with, "No". It\'s sad that you had to put up with it for 24 year\'s, I could not imagine. I hope you find your happiness one day too, and be treated the way you DESERVE to be treated.
-Wes
i\'m glad you had the talk and it went well, but just watch your back for the rollercoaster..its hovering to get you
But i\'ve been blaiming the world, my wife, everyone eles but me for everything for so long I HAVE to take a good hard look in the mirror now..I need to fix me.
Funny, she fell asleep last night while we were watching TV after talking...and I just sat there and staired for hours...(not in a creepy way..lol) and after hours of thinking...i finally kissed her goodbye..that was the moment everything really hit me because I did not want to say goodbye...sigh.
"..and I just sat there and stared for hours"
I\'ve done this too, flashing back to images of the boy I fell in love with and seeing him and all the things I loved about him and not this monster who has replaced him.
Really though, that is great. Keep it going. Making ammends by letting her move on in peace will be powerful for both of you.
I love this idea.
You see the path Wes, now don\'t just talk it, walk it.
Which is okay, as long as you acknowledge it, and there\'s still a piece in there that is doing it for you. :o)