My second marriage has always been a struggle. I met him here, (yeah. big time mistake will never do that again) when both of us were coping with our exes leaving us for their affair partners.

But I loved him. I loved him through his drinking problem, the scary violence that that brought. I loved him when he tried to kill himself around our 1st anniversary and I got him the help he needed and saw him through that.

My children and I left our country to come to his. I left my career and am currently struggling with horrible jobs.

He never got along with my children which ultimately was why I left. But with us in separate places we felt we could rebuild. It was going so well. Then, he met someone new. He won't admit it but the signs were all there. Not wearing his wedding ring. Bringing up issues and fights that we had settled. He wanted me all to himself and now both my boys are leaving home to start school in other states and he's gone to.

I stupidly reached out to him for an explanation that made sense because none of this makes sense to me. I got a type of "cease and desist" type email not written in his voice. (he'd often get me to respond to his ex so I don't doubt the new woman is doing that for him). I keep picturing her in our home, our bed.

I know, I was a total idiot to contact him. I'm just so confused and in so much pain.

So, how do you stop loving someone? How do you make it stop hurting when all you feel is complete humiliation.