So if you are good financially, then the house stuff you are talking about is tending to stuff that breaks in the house?

I am sorry you are going through this. I am sure it isn't easy especially with having kids and one with special needs. But you will find that there are things that make you stronger and most likely, you will be able to handle whatever comes your way.

wishing you the best

I'm sorry you'r going through all this...IMHO though, if you are financially ok, I think you would find yourself being ok without the husband...yeah, its great to have him around to take care of stuff around the house, but if you're financially ok, you can always find someone to come take care of that stuff, or, you may even find with a little research on the internet or talking to someone at a home improvement store, there are lots of those things you could do on your own....I know its scary to venture into the unknown on stuff like that, but often times we find it in ourselves to be able to tackle and accomplish stuff like that when we need to...again...just my opinion

There are ways to have things taken care of. You don't need to keep your abusive husband around for a handyman. Your emotional health and that of your children is of utmost importance. You really don't want your children watching your husband as a role model do you? His treatment of you is uncalled for. Emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse. Please consider contacting a therapist or your local domestic abuse center. They can help you gain perspective on your situation and assure you that you will be just fine on your own. ((((cali)))))

Rent a condo with a handyman. Everything gets fixed, you get to keep you sanity.

You are better than this. People do not deserve to be treated in this manner. Your children deserve to see healthy people in a positive environment.

Thanks everyone. yes I do mean the handyman part. I couldn't take care of kids and stuff arround the house myself. This house is too big. I do think of selling it later and yes a condo would be nice. It's mine. Was left to me by my parents. Yes I feel so empty inside everytime he's arround me. It's gotten to the piont that I find a place in my home or outside to be away from him. I left him a letter last night, so that when he got in (wich was 2a.m.) he would read. I let him know that if he wants to move out to tell me when so I could take the kids else where while he did. I never know where he goes anymore. He has no respect to tell me anything. I wish I could move out but can't cause I wouldn't want him to think I'm leaving him this house and have to think about my 3 kids. Thanks for your replys...

You might consult a lawyer to find out the best way to proceed as far as the house goes...since it was left to you, it may be totally yours, unless you sell, then the money becomes marital prop?

You can hire people to get anything done these days....lawn, home repair...moving.....locksmith.....In fact, you could hire someone to move all of his stuff out to the curb, and hire a locksmith to change all the locks, while you and the kids go to a spa for three days to take care of yourself.

Good advice from everyone. You do not have to take emotional/verbal abuse.

Please contact an attorney to find out what your legal rights are. Finding someone to take care of the house is easy--there are handyman in every newspaper--ask friends--they can recommend people. Staying in a verbally/emotionally abusive marriage for the kids is teaching the kids that it is okay to disrespect people and be mean to them. Is this the lesson you want them to learn?

If the issue is being alone, don't fear it so much. I am alone but away from constant verbal/emotional abuse. I wouldn't take my fucktard ex back if he came on bended knee with a million dollars in his pocket. He was horribly verbally abusive and I love the peace I have now.

Please contact an attorney and a counselor to help you make good decisions about what you want to do.

Hugs! Keep talking to us here.

You either hire someone, or go to hardware stores and ask questions. i do both, depending on the size of the project and what it is. It can be frustrating at times, but is soooooo worth the peace of mind of being out of that relationship. I have three kids too, and my husband would go out and not tell me where he was, also....actually about 5 days a week at the end of our marriage. Welcome to the group! The first steps in this moving forward are so hard. hugs to you!

Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. The hardest part is deciding to do what you know you need to. Once the decision is made, finding someone to do the yardwork, house repairs etc. is as easy as paying someone.