Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I could've written so many of the posts I've read. I'm so glad others are feeling or have felt what I'm currently feeling. It helps knowing I'm not alone.
My husband of almost 20 years told me 2 weeks ago he's gay. He cheated with a man recently. My world is shattered. My entire adult life was built on lies. All my hopes and dreams--lies. How can I ever trust anyone again?
He took away my identity. I'm no longer a wife. My companion of 20 years is gone. I catch myself thinking throughout the day that I need to remember to tell him about something funny at work when we get home, and then I remember, there's no more "we," and he doesn't live there anymore.
I can't get over how alone this feeling is. Not lonely, but alone. I have friends and family who are supportive and praying for me and who spend time with me, but I still feel so alone.
I never wanted to be a single mom. I have two boys, ages 14 and 8. We haven't told them the truth about their dad, and I wish we never had to. This will destroy the 14 year old. He's already very angry at his dad for not loving us enough to stay, as he sees it. Right now, it's an adventure for the 8 year old to go to Dad's house and sleep in the bunk beds I would never buy him. And it hurts when the 8 year old constantly asks when he gets to go to Dad's house again, when he gets to see Dad again. I'm not the one who cheated and broke the marriage vows, yet I feel like I'm being punished by losing time with my kids when they're at his house.
And I hated the dating scene when I was a young, thin, somewhat-pretty college girl. I can't imagine dating as a flabby, middle-aged, time-worn woman. It feels so hopeless and overwhelming. This isn't at all what I wanted for my family.
Why did this happen? Will I ever feel happiness again? I don't want to be alone. I miss him. I hate him. How could he do this to us? How will I get through the holidays? Oct.-Dec. used to be my favorite time of year, and now I can barely stand the thought of the holidays. How will I maintain the house? What if a pipe breaks? So many things to think about.
yes being a single parent is hard and yes holidays are also a fear taht i will be having to deal with shortly...but we just have to stay strong for our own health and children and pray that THIS trial was given to us to show us that WE were meant to be something diffrernt. to be in a relationship that was REAL. That Happiness and joy is better than just setting. the dating sccene is scary...i am going through that now...self esteem thrown out the wondow and always concerned of if finding someone else is possible....there are so many great people on this thing who have shared that life is never too late to find Love again.
loss is always ahard thing...for me... im not used to change....but we have to change in order to better ourselves.
-Being gay was not her fault.
-Being gay was not his fault.
-Being gay was not something people could pray away.
-Being gay didn't mean he was lying all those years, just that he was confused and didn't really know.
-He still cared about her just as deeply, but not in the way they both envisioned all those years ago.
-They could still be friends.
-That he wasn't trying to be selfish or make her miserable or tear their family apart.
-Everyone has the right to personal happiness, expecting him to stay would be very selfish.
-She honestly didn't really want to be married to a gay man.
-Him leaving didn't mean anything in particular was wrong with her or their relationship.
-She was still lovable and desirable as a woman.
-Her son was much more resilient than she every would have imagined. He accepted his father being gay before she did
-Being gay doesn't 'rub off on the kids' or make him a bad role model.
-She could still trust him to keep his word, take good care of the children and pay his share financially.
Be careful of your internal dialogue because the way you frame this to yourself will make it lots easier or lots more difficult for you and your children.
In the end my friend decided being gay was wonderful reason for her husband to leave, because she could rest assured it truly had nothing to whether or not she was a good wife or if she was attractive to members of the opposite sex. She felt his decision didn't reflect on her at all.
They're now best friends, take family vacations together, share joint custody of the kids and she loves getting some 'me' time to date and spend time just doing whatever strikes her fancy. It will get better. I promise.