Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Chuckjones
Chuckjones

My now ex and I have a 4 month old daughter, and for the past 3 weeks I haven' lived there because she kicked me out, I quit smoking weed, looking for a new job and a place to live. In the midst of trying to show her I am changing she has decided to invite over a married man and they got drunk and hung out in the hot tub alone and she had a hickey the next day when I came to see my daughter but she tried to say "it was a zit", on top of all of this she knows I'm not looking for another relationship not even talking to anyone else, and she has decided instead of working with me on our issues she has joined a dating website and has been flirting with other men, while refusing to even talk to me on a friendly basis, it' super hard because I love this girl more then I have loved before and she knows all of this, but doesn't try and talk with me and would rather flirt with strangers, it has me dying on the inside and she knows it. I have talked to her sister and told her all these things and agreed her sister was acting extremely shady about everything and agrees something isn' right. I' not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for but my friend told me I should join a group to see whay everyone says, he thinks I should drop her like a bad habit but that is the issue, my heart is on my sleeve for this woman. 

serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
First off very sorry for all your pain. It is hard when we love but she is not being right. It doesn't sound like she cares to work on you guys from her actions and you need to decide when enough is enough. I honestly agree with your friend. Breaking up and working on things is one thing but jeeze she is doing more and not being considerate of trying to fix things between you guys. It doesn't seem she wants to from what you have posted.
patti22
patti22
Back up a minute.

So you had a four month old daughter, were out of work and were smoking weed...how often?

If you were home and she was working, were you taking care of your daughter, the house, getting chores done, etc?

Or were you smoking pot all day while she did everything?

I'm sorry, but it's just not the usual thing to "kick someone out" if they've been taking care of a newborn full time. Parents are usually lucky to be getting enough sleep.
Chuckjones
Chuckjones
No I am the only parent working, she was the stay at home parent.
Chuckjones
Chuckjones
I was smoking maybe a bowl a day, working and then coming home and she never asked me for help but would get mad at me for asking for 10 minutes to relax after getting home, sorry if there was confusion on that part, I actually have a 5 year old with a different woman and out of myself and both mother's I an the only one working and paying for the things that were needed.
patti22
patti22
Okay, that makes a big big difference. I'm still not a fan of the pot...but...I realize that you're far from the only one.

My next concern is who was watching the infant while she was drinking?
inspiredaccountant
inspiredaccountant
Do ur self a favor. Get your own place. Get in school or back on school for a career. You may be able to have school and work and still be comfortable without worries. Forsake the weed. MOVE on with your life, get a lawyer for formal guidelines with your child, and go live. It’s not that she had a hook up. It’s with whom. I’m not sorry for all your pain if that is what you want as your life. Value yourself at least for your daughter.
Chuckjones
Chuckjones
She left our daughter with her parents, even though I offered to watch my daughter while she did whatever but she wouldn't allow me to because she doesn't trust me with out daughter, and I definitely didn't want this as my life because it was going good, until this man came back into her life. And that's slowly what I'm working towards, steps in the right direction but it's still hard when you care about someone
inspiredaccountant
inspiredaccountant
No. It’s hard when you don’t care. When you care it is easy because caring is not indecisive. Caring is doing what is necessary. If not did yourself then for your daughter. She should do the same.
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