I understand how the fear of being alone can make us settle for sub-par relationships to put it extremely lightly. I began finding naked pics on my wife's phone that weren't for me since roughly March of 2106 timestamped back to November 2015. Today's date is 1-23-17. She confessed to the affair after many accusations on December 28th. People tell me I deserved better anyway but I subscribed to denial and settling because 1 we have 2 kids and 2, she's so beautiful I felt like u could never get another woman as attractive. It's a daily struggle for me too. We deserve people who actually love and respect us. Love means putting yourself second. Neither of us had that. I was hit by her only twice on 2 occations, she's 105lbs so the damage was purely emotional. How could our best friends betray and assault us? I realize it's not them we actually loved, it's the idealized fantasy we've made in our minds of what the people could be. We made them the center of our hearts and it was us who did that to ourselves. The other people didn't really love us, we loved them, or more specifically the idea of them. Terrible familiarity can become comfortable. An extreme example that was given to me is the Holocaust. The Jews in the camps waiting be abused and die became normal. Their self respect and ego had been ripped away. We have to somehow find the strength to rebuild ourselves into someone WE respect. We have to be the best people we can be so we can serve other people the best. I bet you take care of other people first and yourself last like I do. It's just our selfless personalities and I'm told there are 7billion people on earth now, half of the other gender. I know we feel alone in a crowd right now but we have real value in our personalities. Someone will love us. The odds are just too in our favor. I can't believe I can give people good advise when I feel absolutely devastated myself at the moment. I truly empathize with you. We DESERVE love and happiness. Step one is take care of yourself. Do the best you can at work, try to eat healthy foods several meals a day Start walking and or writing. Go to a doctor and get low dose antidepressants(take them at night, they make u drowsy during the day, found that out the hard way) I'm sure u have friends , even if your best friend has betrayed you it's normal to cry. Im a 32 year old man and I've cried many times over the last couple of weeks. Allow yourself to feel the pain...then become self aware of your thoughts during the day...focus on doing not feeling. Make a checklist and follow it. Do laundry, go food shopping, make that Dr. Appointment. Eat, go to work, come home, shower and brush teeth. Watch comedy shows/movies. Try to immerse yourself in anything positive. Believe, truly believe Happiness will find us again but we have to go to it, it won't just come to us unfortunately. I don't know you, but I'd hug you and say I love you in person if I could because we both deserve to hear it and feel it. Please be strong, stronger that you ever thought u could be. Humans are remarkably resilient ceeatures. If we could survive the abuse, we can survive being alone for a little while. We will find happiness again and this time it will be real. Not some concocted fantasy we made the other people out to be

I don't do brevity. I'm a verbose and emotionally exposed person. There is no armor over my heart, so I truly feel the pain of betrayal

My thought is this, You don't know who you are because you have lived your life around him and he is all you know as in your heart you know what he is doing to you is wrong and hands are meant to hold and touch with love and kindness not to punch/hit or cause pain and marks . You are not feeling good about yourself and may feel like you would rather be his punching bag than to go through life without him yet you are selling yourself short of a happy life to know and find what real love is rather it be with someone else but it has to start with yourself first. If you have a YWCA in your area call them seek help and therapy . It will not be a bed of roses but in time it will be something you never had and that is self worth and love and happiness . Do you have a job outside of the home ? If not are you able to get a job even if part time to start to feel like you are taking care of yourself and your be around other people . Is there family that can help or friends ? I would not take him back , I would leave or make sure he leaves and change the locks . He will sweet talk you and tell you just what you want to hear but talk is cheap and he needs help. If he wants a life and relationship with you then he will move out and seek help for his anger and then in time the two of you can re group but don't give him an inch as he will take a foot. Your better than he is and smarter and stronger on the inside he has just stolen so much from you that you don't know who you are anymore. Now is a good time to find out who you are . Good luck .

Agree 100% with familyguy! Work on yourself now. You matter!

I agree as well if u don't work on yourself then. He will win