Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've been giving it some thought over the past two yearsish and I just don't see how the pain I feel know and have for such a long time is worth being in a relationship for.
I loved my wife but she hurt me so badly when she left for another guy that I just don't understand why anyone would put themselves through it all again. She was the first person in my life I have ever dropped my guard for, the only one I let get close enough to hurt me and then she did. Why would I risk this pain again? How can I trust another person that much?
I know I'm meant to figure all this out in my youth but I shunned relationships then. For fear of getting hurt and now here's were I am. I can tell you without hesitation the time I spent with her wasn't worth this hateful time apart.
I loved my wife but she hurt me so badly when she left for another guy that I just don't understand why anyone would put themselves through it all again. She was the first person in my life I have ever dropped my guard for, the only one I let get close enough to hurt me and then she did. Why would I risk this pain again? How can I trust another person that much?
I know I'm meant to figure all this out in my youth but I shunned relationships then. For fear of getting hurt and now here's were I am. I can tell you without hesitation the time I spent with her wasn't worth this hateful time apart.
It is very human to close ourselves off in order to protect ourselves, but when we do that, we miss out on so many other things in life.
Please consider counseling w/a qualified therapist. Even if you've already tried it and it didn't seem to work. It could be that you didn't give it long enough or that the therapist wasn't the right one for you.
There's a reason(s) why you shunned relationships in your youth. A good therapist can help you get to the crux of what happened and why you chose to close yourself off and make different decisions about yourself needing to be so closed off. Then you can heal from your your marriage.
In addition, please check out Brene Brown's Ted Talks
https://www.ted.com/speakers/brene_brown
She has much more to say about vulnerability in her book, Daring Greatly.
It's hard to love ourselves when we have our guard up and shun relationships. Please be kind, patient and gentle with yourself. Allow yourself as much time as you need to do the work to heal. And then, if you haven't already, take the time to fall madly in love with yourself.
~healing hugs~
A year. I needed the support of others. I am
Still not graduated.
I truly believe when i am ready the right one
Will appear If not then i will be alone. I am
59, married 30 years no children.
I am nowhere near ready or healed. I have
Had 7 months of no contact still detaching.
I Still have a very strong bond.
I go to my therapist and alanon too.
(((( hugs )))
I was just wondering today why a relationship can be SO great for so long and then become completely different. WHY?!
Anyway, EVERYONE PLEASE listen to this GREAT song!!!!!!! You'll get it if you listen to the words! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO9VVgGHhVU
I was married for 37 years. I feel I gave 100% of my all and he gave not much more than 5%. I really have not seen a lot of happy marriages lately.
I do NOT believe it is a death sentence to be single. I absolutely love my life, I can go where I want, when I want and not answer to anyone. I am way older than you are also.
Every year I take a trip to Roatan for a month. I am living my life for myself and I will never go back.
I know most of you would rather be in a relationship, there is really no need to jump in till you are healed from the old one.