Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Need to really vent

kornboy85
kornboy85

For all those who have not read my posts, my wife left me for another man, it has been almost 3 months and she is still with him and I have already let her know I want a divorce, after months of being patient. I left my wife a message stating she had shut me out for a very long time, even in our anniversary she wanted out (she left me two weeks after our wedding anniversary). I told her that reality finally hit me and I realized that when actions speak louder than words her actions says she doesn't want me anymore and doesn't love me anymore. I don't want her to still hold on to me while she is still holding on to him. I don't know what I am to her anymore or why I still exist to her, but I now know she will never come home. I told her all this and I felt relieved that I finally told her this. It's what I have been wanting to say but because that is how I really feel. But my emotions are still rocking back and forth and I am feeling angry because I feel that she has made me make the heavy decision. I have tried pulling off divorce for a long time but everyone knows, including I that this is still the best option to go.

strongandsilent
strongandsilent
So, if she is with another man, than she is not with you. You didn't make the heavy decision, she did. You are just starting the paper work to execute her decision so that you can get on with your life too.
AYoung
AYoung
Awful, so sorry for your pain and the situation she has put you in and continues to put you through! It is very admirable attempting to work things out and putting off divorce, unfortunately, there are times when the plug has to be pulled! I think you’re there kornboy85, I’m sorry to say it but she’s exhibiting incredibly selfish and manipulative behaviors. The relief you felt was a good feeling because you know it’s the right thing to do and she needed to hear it. She may be hanging on for a variety of reasons kornboy85, but really; forget it, get yourself together and concentrate on healing. If she’s willing to forego her affair and work toward repairing your relationship, well, that’s something only you can decide-as I did in my marriage, I hated it, hated the decision I made [working toward repairing our relationship], I felt like a loser, that I deserved better, that I should divorce her, but I love her, our family, and I wanted to be with her….so I put aside these feelings and honored my marriage by working toward repair and rebuilding. In time those feelings were put aside, jealousy and the pain rear their ugly heads here and there ten years later, but overall, I don’t regret the decision one second. I love my wife and the relationship is better now than ever before. But this was my decision, a decision which may not be the best for you at all…that’s why you need to make sure it’s right and you need to make sure you take care of yourself in the process. You are deserving of love, deserving of justice, and certainly deserving of respect and honor. I wish I could help more, just know you are valuable, if she’s unwilling to work toward a solution, you deserve better, honor yourself by moving on. Make sure you include friends and family or someone to support you! Take care of yourself kornboy85, keep in touch ok? It’s hard, as you know, but it will get better!
kornboy85
kornboy85
My wife replied the following morning after I told her that I know she will never come back home. She said, "you'll see...when I come home." My response to her was "what's stopping you?" She hasn't responded because so far, she has no answer.