Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have tried almost everything. She won't change her mind. She tells me that she is emotionally disconnected to me and has a brick wall up. She won't try anything to change things! Do I give up even though I don't want to?
Are long gone. They made their mind up long
Ago and disconnected. They are just biding
Their time.
You did not say if she has an affair partner or
Not. Generally there is one waiting in the wings
Or in play.
My ex was long checked out, there was no
Working on things. I tried and tried to no avail
Or any Willingness on his part. He had bonded
With another woman. HUGS
None of that was said out of anger. She was checked out. My therapist said that she finished a marathon I didn't even know I was running. I had to quit torturing myself by lying to myself that things would get better. Good luck. You're not alone...we're all going through this together.
That's a great analogy..
One of the weird things is that they won't miss what is right in front of them. Don't bargain , Don't Beg but find things to do that really make you happy. Let her know that you are willing to work on it but you will give her some space to figure things out.
They see it their way which is often selfish
Not much you can do though.
Most of us Have walked in your shoes and
tried until We were blue in the face or near
Breakdown. For what ? someone that does
Not respect, love you and is checked out.
Divorce is still brutally hard to move Thru,
its the emotional and financial fallout and
All that comes with it.
Divorce care and therapy helps a lot to deal
With these kind of issues. Good luck, HUGS
at some point, you have to give up.
it's been two years for me. i have went back and begged twice, at points of crisis in my life.
you can't keep pestering her, she will get the lawyers after you.
whatever you need, stay in touch.
people in the "marriage bubble" don't realize how rough it is in divorce.
god bless
Do I regret trying as long and as hard to save the marriage as I did? yes and no. On the plus side, I can honestly say to myself that I tried everything. On the down side, it was about 3 months too long. Now 6 years after the divorce, I can say that some of that time was wasted; things in my life are much better now. Better in fact than I would imagine the marriage would have ever been. The thing is that you can't know that when you are going through it.
So, my advice. It sounds like you are in limbo. She doesn't want to try to connect with you, but you are still married. I'd tell her straight up, you don't want things to stay like that. Either try to reconnect or it's time for a divorce. Tell her you'd rather stay married, but not if she won't participate. If she want's to come back around, get some marriage counseling, figure out what the issues are, put some honest work into them. This only works if both of you participate. If she doesn't want to, tell her you want to get a fair, non-confrontational divorce. Let her know you care about her and don't want to screw her over, but you can't stay if she isn't interested. But here is the hard part. You have to step up to the edge of the cliff on this one, and be prepared to step off. This is the really scary part, but you have to be willing to take that leap. You don't want to keep it where it is. Honestly, either resolution (divorce -or- reconciliation) will be better than being in a state of limbo.