I get that it hurts a lot. Its the worse feeling in the world to lose someone you love.. Continue to grieve his loss and try to be happy for him even if you are not. Trust in your higher power that he has a plan for you.. I always try to think of it this way.. I am working on myself and rebuilding my life and I am going to take my time falling in love and getting in a new relationship because thats what is healthy for me if I ever want to find true love again I need to be healthy and love myself.. It will happen again.. If you rush into a relationship with someone mew you carry a lot of the same pain that haunted you in your past relationship. so stay strong and try to stop.searching for what he is doing.. In a way, if he finds a new love right away, you may even feel sorry for her. He will treat her the way he treated you if he does not grieve and work on being healthy before diving in again

Thank you for your reply xx

Circumstances has played a big part in things not working and I truly believe it to be that.

I have never in my entire life felt this much for another human being. And I've had a lot of life experience. I try but I just can't seem to feel ok, move on or get over or past him.

The thought of another guy makes me sick to my stomach. I can't do it I feel like I'm cheating.

It's fucking redic I hate it I don't want to feel this but I can't help i

me too broke up with my ex, very very hard im almost going to have a breakdown myself, and I want to book a flight with no return. im taking each day at a time, I hate waking up to reality. I guess it will take time. with time there will be other men who will beg for your heart hun x

Hello KC,
You came to the right place for help. Although I have not read up on your situation more than this post, I can at least offer some comforting words.
I discovered dailystrength a while ago while I was coping with a divorce and then a really bad break up from a rebound relationship that left me devastated and in a state of clinical depression. Dailystrength helped me get back on my feet and today I am better than ever and happy.
I think what was hardest for me was the NO CONTACT rule. It is hard for a person like me but it is the key to getting better. Read a previous post I wrote a while back it might help you.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/breakups-divorce/discussion/illusions-1

Well anyway.... So your ex is moving on? Well look at it this way: It is not a race to see who moves on the fastest. It is not a competition to see who gets over who the easiest. It is not even about him anymore. Right now it is ALL ABOUT YOU. It is about you getting better, about you letting go, it is about your beautiful smile lighting up YOUR world.
This is a time to be selfish and take care of yourself. Don't worry or care about what he is doing. You two are not together anymore and he is and will do what he needs to do for himself. You have to do the same. You don't need to date to be ok. Take this time to re-find yourself. What do you like to do that makes you happy? Improve yourself everyday. Take up a new hobby or learn a new language. Read an amazing book and enjoy your time alone.
Stay away from alcohol even if it is just wine. It is a downer. Honey you need to help yourself each day and take baby steps into a new and better you.
Checking to see what the ex is doing will not help you one bit. There is no need to look back anymore, your path is ahead of YOU and his is ahead of HIS. There is nothing back there for you. It is all in your hands.
Most people will recommend therapy and I would agree, but even so it will still be in your hands not your therapist's hands.
Make a schedule today for the rest of the week. What are all the things you will do daily to keep your mind and body busy? How will you burn all that negative energy? EXERCISE it is very important that you exercise both body and mind right now. Join a crossfit community or go for runs or biking.... Anything that will keep you from thinking and will leave you exhausted beyond your wildest dreams. Then exercise the mind: READ....
You will start to look and feel better. And all these activities are not expensive. Running is free and reading is not expensive.
There is no better therapy than doing all of this. And you don't have to go pay $500 an hour to get therapy and feel happy.

Good Luck and feel free to private message me if you ever need anything. Big Hug.

We're all in this together. I've had days of confidence and days of dread/low esteem. But each day I'm making progress through my own introspection. We're all gonna live through it all, and someday we can look back and say "Hey, you know what, I got through that, and that's pretty great". Best of luck to you, I hope you find peace soon.

Most of us on here are either feeling the same or have felt the same as you. IT SUCKS! I never have felt anguish so intense. It does get better, it might take weeks or months but you will start to feel normal little by little. It has taken me 2 months to start to sleep more than a few hours, make sure you eat something everyday, I know you probably want to throw up, I know I did, but you need to stay healthy. Exercise was great for me to let off all the anxiety. I have lost 50 lbs in 8 weeks, finally eating a little more. It is awful to go through, vent on here often and help others heal too, it makes you feel better when you give a purpose to the pain. Keep your head up don't focus on more than the day you have in front of you.

You are all so wonderful and understanding and I appreciate all your messages and taking time to read and listen to me.

It's the lonely times when I'm all alone that this horrid overpowering sadness takes hold. Which is before work n after work as I live alone.

I find it very hard to distract my thoughts and keep my mind off it all.

I work nights which makes having a normal life hard. I also suffer other ailments which make me so tired and drained all the time.

I can accept he is moving on as much as it kills my heart. What I don't think I'll be able to handle is seeing him with someone else. And it's very likely as we live 5mins apart.

He hasn't made any of this easier for me. He has never been blunt and said it's over 100% he has never cut me off completely. He has of recent said let's meet up let's talk hang out.

So you see why it's so much harder.

I just hope to god I will be ok. One day xx

Meeting up and hanging out will make things a million times worse...the only way to heal is cut him off completely. Anything else is torture and keeps you stuck. I finally learned that lesson the hard way after many months so don't make the mistake I did, friendship won't work if you're hung up on someone! Only total no contact to detach!!

NO CONTACT... 100% cut off. You said he has never cut you off completely?? Why is he in charge of that? Take control and YOU cut him off completely and take control of your life. You don't need the pain. My ex lives across the street from me and it has been a year since our break up and I have only bumped into her twice. The first time I saw her with her new BF and it hurt. The second time I had already taken control back and I didn't feel a thing. It is all about how you have control over your feelings and how you control your thoughts. Take back your control TODAY. Block him from everything. No need to tell him you are doing it (that's just drama) just do it and move on. NO CONTACT rule is the only way to get back on track. If what you want is to get better you need to do it.

wow! Lonelywolf79 you give such great advise. I'm gland we all have this place we can go to and let all of our anger and concerns out. It's so nice to have this type of support. Kcxo you are going to be just fine. I'm currently separated from my husband and one true love. It's hard because I feel like I want to see him everyday, but I have to say not seeing him helps.

We do have a son together so it's difficult because now that I've kicked him out he wants to come over all the time to see his son. when he was living with me he didn't see his son often because he said he had to "work late". Yeah, he was working alright. I will not keep him from seeing him, but I need to be strong and limit the amount of days. It's no different from when we were together. He was out and I was at home with the baby.

Focus on the good things about yourself. We all lose focus of what really matters and that's ourselves. We all deserve to be happy and happy doesn't mean that you have to be with someone.

Lets all take it one day at a time. Think positive thoughts, be happy, and love yourself. Remember none of know each other but we are all here for each other. Never give up on yourself! You are worth fighting for!!

Lonleywolf... he has the control as I gave that to him. I think that happened when I fell madly in love with him and was so scared to lose him.

The reason he still has that control is because he broke it off with me, and I'm still in love with him and would honest be back with him I'm if I could.

Thank you staystrong I really appreciate your advice and what's helped you through your very tough time.

I feel a lil silly whinging about a breakup with a boyfriend when others are going through actual divorces. I can't image how you are so strong to get through that.

I'm taking it one day at a time, struggling through most of it. But I'm still here dealing with it.

I just hope that one day I can stop thinking about him and wishing things were different. And that I'll allow myself to find someone new very far down the track, as it seems virtually impossible.

Xx

I know that feeling honey. And you need to find a way to let go and take back your control for your own good and health. Take it one moment and one day at a time. You can do it. You are still here and still dealing with it. So keep doing what you are doing BUT don't stay in one place. Everyday needs to be an improvement on the previous day.
Let me know if you need anything.

OH and by the way. Don't feel sillly whinning about a break up. Some people get divorced and don't shed a tear. Others lose a boyfriend of one month and their whole world crashes. Feeling heartbroken has no limits. Don't undervalue what you are going through. It is tough and that is why you are here. And you WILL GET BETTER. I promise.

I'm sorry that you are in this place. I know exactly how you feel, as much as I wish I didn't. The love of my life just let me go. I was disregarded and forgotten. He never guarded over my heart. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. The only thing that I can do is bring my broken heart to God daily. There is so much great advise in these comments. Truthfully I wish there was a magic pill that we could take to make this all go away. Although I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it helps that we can relate with one another and give each other insight that others may not understand. A broken heart is never easy but we have to believe that it will get better. I pray for healing and peace for us all. - Bear Hugs!

The amount of time that you are with someone does not dictate the hurt after a breakup. I went through a divorce 7 years ago. It was difficult, especially because we have 2 children together. It was nothing like what I am currently going through during my recent breakup with my girlfriend of less than 1 year.

As difficult as it is to imagine right now, it does get easier. You may or may not get over it completely, but you will learn to move on and be happy again. You will also be that much stronger for it as well...