Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been separated from my husband for about 2 yrs now. We still live in the same house but in separate rooms. It has just gotten worse and I feel I should just seriously consider divorce. There has not been any abuse more neglect that has gotten worse. I have always been a stay at home Mom and he keeps working 12 hour days. I really don't think there is any way he could be having an affair. I know that is what people usually think but we live in a small town and he is a minister. So he just overworks I guess. There is too much to try to explain.
We have one son that is 19 that is still at home. I have some money that is mine from an inheritance that would last me probably 4 mos. on my own. Right now I do not have any support group except a friend that I met online. It is a guy (long story) but there is nothing romantic between us. He has been the only one I can talk too. My sisters I used to talk too but they feel we should go to more counseling and try harder to work it out. They have not been around my husband in several yrs and do not understand my situation so I cannot talk to them.
The last counseling we went to was about 2 1/2 yrs ago when I wanted to move from this small town because I don't like it here. He was so opposed to it. He never sympathized with how isolated I am here. The next larger city is 50 miles away. I knew right then he doesn't have the right kind of love toward me. We have been married 30 yrs. There were warning signs years ago but I was busy with the kids and I homeschooled them too so it is easy to push things under the rug.
I am just frantic now thinking and knowing that I need a better life but don't know if I can afford it. I will have to move away from this area maybe near to where my married daughter lives. I have severe back problems so if I got a job it could only be part time. So I wanted to know if anyone knows what kind of gov't assistance or something would be available to me. I think my husband checked and I don't qualify for SS disability because I haven't worked enough to put in to it.
Well bless you if you have read this far. I am going to try and get into a counselor next week hopefully but I really need some support from some ladies that have been in my situation. I need to try and take one step at a time but it is hard thinking about all the things that need to be done if I can accomplish this. Thank you so much
We have one son that is 19 that is still at home. I have some money that is mine from an inheritance that would last me probably 4 mos. on my own. Right now I do not have any support group except a friend that I met online. It is a guy (long story) but there is nothing romantic between us. He has been the only one I can talk too. My sisters I used to talk too but they feel we should go to more counseling and try harder to work it out. They have not been around my husband in several yrs and do not understand my situation so I cannot talk to them.
The last counseling we went to was about 2 1/2 yrs ago when I wanted to move from this small town because I don't like it here. He was so opposed to it. He never sympathized with how isolated I am here. The next larger city is 50 miles away. I knew right then he doesn't have the right kind of love toward me. We have been married 30 yrs. There were warning signs years ago but I was busy with the kids and I homeschooled them too so it is easy to push things under the rug.
I am just frantic now thinking and knowing that I need a better life but don't know if I can afford it. I will have to move away from this area maybe near to where my married daughter lives. I have severe back problems so if I got a job it could only be part time. So I wanted to know if anyone knows what kind of gov't assistance or something would be available to me. I think my husband checked and I don't qualify for SS disability because I haven't worked enough to put in to it.
Well bless you if you have read this far. I am going to try and get into a counselor next week hopefully but I really need some support from some ladies that have been in my situation. I need to try and take one step at a time but it is hard thinking about all the things that need to be done if I can accomplish this. Thank you so much
Two years of separation AND be under the same roof is a long time. I think you should consider making a separation agreement (Spousal support, etc).
Once that is out of the way you may take the plunge and move to the town you mentioned.
((hugs))
You are not alone.
You can try to get a free consultation with a divorce attorney to see what they tell you. You'll need to know where your husband works, approximately how much he makes, any IRS or retirement fund there he may have, any property you two have, bank accounts, etc. Take a pad and pen to write it all down. Most attorneys want money from you to start a divorce.
The attorney may suggest filing for separation and going for alimony and for child support right away. That would be a good idea and is a start. That would give you some money coming in.
Unfortunately, if you need money right now, all I can see is that you're going to have to get a part time job. Welfare and most government assistance counts your husband's income and that he lives right in the home. They even consider it for food stamps. So that's a real problem living there with him.
As to Social Security Disability (SSD), it is administered by the Social Security Administration (SSA) and they have SSDI which is for those who have worked enough quarters to have paid in, and they have SSI for those who have not worked or have not worked enough.
SSD is not easy to obtain and the SSA does not make it easy. You must have your doctors telling you and writing in their records that you are unable to do any work and not just the job you used to do. Many people, including me, have spine injuries and I had back surgery and I have a broken vertebrae back there that didn't heal and impacts nerves (I've fallen and had a concussion, etc.) and now have to use an electric scooter, I have severe chronic migraines that a neurologist has to treat, I have nerve damage and carpal tunnel in both hands that has been causing problems and a specialist said the only left now is is surgery and I don't want that, I have PTSD with flashbacks, and the medical goes on and on.
I did get SSDI (I had worked enough quarters to apply for it) and it took a year before they approved me.
If you are considering SSD, look for a good attorney to help you and you will need to pick up copies of your medical records and that attorney will look at them and tell you if you have a good case or not. Again, if your doctors don't believe you are severe enough to apply for SSD, then they will say so to the SSA during the SSD process guaranteed. some doctors refuse to even respond to SSA.
It is also better if you are not working when you apply for SSD. That's why I say if you need money right now, then get the part time job and get the money you need for the attorney and go for your alimony and child support (some states may not have child support if the child is over 18 and not attending college/technical school, so keep that in mind as they consider the child is working or should be working and not just sitting at home vegetating unless the child is disabled.
After you get some money together, if you get really bad with pain and such, you can quit and apply to SSA and say you tried working part time and that was unsuccessful because you were in too much pain. Many prayers and hugs.