Is it just me or is he coming from two distinctly opposite places in a relationship such as marriage and deciding for another child? Doesn’t love you but wants another child together, a decidedly intimate act and event TOGETHER.

I don't love you but I want to have another child by you???

Yeah, just a bit weird. The new baby saved our marriage said nobody EVER.

I honestly feel like a part of his decision is based on his brothers current relationship. His brother is younger than him, has been married for 2 years and has 1 kid and one on the way. His brother is consistently talking crap about his wife and I feel like they have this fantasy on leaving us both, becoming roommates and nothing but fun will follow. You begged for a kid for the last 2 months then said am done labor day weekend. kids do not solve any problems they only complicate things. Am dreading the time he tells our daughter that he is leaving, shes very emotional already and is already saying her dad doesn't love her because his not around.

Sometimes our significant others become confused in what they really want in life. So they tend to say or do things that they believe is the right thing for themselves, not really taking in the account the damage they are inflicting to us and themselves. You may not get an exact answer if you ask what he wants from the marriage. He may answer you, but it may not be truthful and he may only be saying things that you want to hear. Looking back in the past in what he did and what he's doing now, I think it may be time for you to figure out what is best for YOU and you child. It should no longer be what is best for him.

you never mentioned whether you want another child. if by chance you do theres nothing wrong with saying you wish for one as well, but would like his help with reassurance and clearing concerns on your mind. this could be the conversation which brings concerns to light, from which you will have a better sense for where to go from there

I think you should not risk another pregnancy with him. Instead, .. privately confer with a divorce lawyer and go for as much custody, child support and/or alimony as you can possibly get.

When he was asking for a kid I did not want one, at the end of August I called my doctor and set up an appointment to take my IUD out, it was set for Oct. 24th for removal. I didn't tell him and wasn't going to tell him til October. During our conversation about what were doing with all our credit cards he mention another kid and I told him my plan, he looked so upset but don't know why he was upset. It's hard for me to say I was completely over the affair I had not brought it up in about 2 and a half years yet when he brought up another child I instantly said NO. I have fear of the unknown and since this is so familiar am willing to figure it out for the sake of my family, as weak as that sounds. I have felt in the last year that I could just get up and leave, like I was done with this relationship but I knew that was just a feeling not something that I would react on. I feel like he is feeling the same way and the only way for this to make sense for himself is to disconnect. Do I feel like he still loves me, yes but I think the day to day routine is not for him anymore. He is selfish, he doesn't see how this is going to affect our surroundings. Our families (who loves us), our friends (who are all couples and are my friends first), our job (we work together) and then our daughter!

I am sorry you are going through this rough situation! It sounds like really confusing messages coming from your husband.Do you feel he wants another kids in order to help 'save' the marriage? Have you had couple's counseling in the past?
I will be praying for you. I pray that your daughter will be okay if/when she hears the news of her dad leaving. I pray that you will have the strength you need to continue the day to day as you and your husband figure things out. I pray that you will be able to have good conversations with him in order that you both will be able to share where your hearts are at and be able to understand each other.
I encourage you to try to go on a date with your husband. Remind each other why you fell in love with each other. The day to day can be difficult. I would also encourage you to find either a marriage counselor or a mentors that you can talk to and walk through this trying time with. It's challenging to walk it through alone, especially when you have a daughter.

im not married but I do have married friends and relatives. I have seen people go through peaks and valleys and feel that I give advice from an honest place. As far as a child is concern I would not bring another life into a relationship until it is mutual. Meaning you both are sure its something you want and are in a stable place in your relationship. I once gave my sister the advice you know when you have had enough and no one can force you to get to that point. The fact you are conflicted shows there is still some hope you are holding onto for the relationship. I think you both need to agree to counseling individually and then as a couple. Get to the core wants and needs in the relationship and work from scratch. Work on being friends again because that is where it all began in the first place. Friends care and nurture one another. Counseling will help you determine the fate of the intimate relationship. Children should not be brought into the fold unless it is healthy. We don't want our children to repeat our mistakes because we can speak until we are blue in the face our children learn from the live example. I wish you the best of luck on making a decision. Remember people will talk regardless of any decision you make whether they agree with it or not. Also some people will give advice they don't follow themselves and lastly every relationship is not the same because there is no cookie cutter answer. The people in the relationship, feelings and personal background is what shapes the reactions.

If your husband has told you he no longer loves you, why would you want to have another child by him? Why would he want another child by you, if he doesn't love you? This really doesn't make much rational sense. I have seen women, have another child, hoping that will cause the husband or significant other stay but, it seldom does. I would not have another child with this man.

Lets be clear, I never said I wanted another kid. I am not dumb enough to allow anyone to convince me to do something to solely benefit themselves. Another child will NEVER make a relationship that is in shambles better, it is the worst possible idea ever. I think that part of the reason we are in this position is because he wanted another kid so badly and I didn't.