Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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MY WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN IN AN INSTANT

rbsingle1959
rbsingle1959
It has been one complete year since my husband and I separated. After 22 yrs of marriage he just got up one day and left to Florida to reunite with an ex girlfriend from 22 yrs ago. He left me, our kids, our grandchildren, a church a good job for her. I hope she was and is worth it all. I have no idea of his whereabouts. He moved from where he lived with her in Florida. They were living in a trailer home in the bundocks of Florida. Back in June of last year he was trying to get signature from me for release of pension money which i did not sign for. I decided to screw him over like he did to me. Anyhow back then i asked for my divorce to which he answered that he did not wish to discuss at the time. He said he was observing things in Florida and it was too soon to discuss marriage with the other woman. He complained about two daughters she has that seem intrusive and here we are one yr later and he has not called nor email nor written to mention divorce. What the heck is he thinking?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know, but you should file without him. At least get it on record that you two are separated. If you don't have an address on him, look at what you have to do for "service by publication" where you have it published in newspapers. Not sure on divorce law in your state, but I don't see why you have to wait forever for him to get off his rear and do something.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I don't know how it is where you live but, where I live, after a year, you can file for desertion and/or mental cruelty and get the divorce without his consent. If he hasn't had any contact for a year, sounds like he has already made his choice and you should do what is best for you and your future.
Misred
Misred
You will never know what he is/was thinking and don't waste your time waiting any longer. I agree with the last two replies, you have been abandoned. HIs action speak for him. Do you belong to the divorce after 20 years together group. There are a lot of men and women there who will help guide you through the process. Here is a link to get there.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/divorceaftertwentyyearstogether
rbsingle1959
rbsingle1959
Thanks for your input. Anyone believe in Karma? Why do i waste my time hoping for him to pay for what he has done instead of just moving forward? The pain is so intense as yesterday. I keep dwelling in what was then what is. I have no money to take legal action and sometimes i think that is what he wants for me to pay for it. How do you just pick up and leave your ex married and not care to divorce. Doesnt he want to marry the other women at some point?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Simply put, he wants his cake and ice cream too, all while feasting! If I were you, I'd file for divorce on him. Let the lawyer find him. You may be in a state that will find it in your favor if he does not respond to the papers. Don't let him walk over you.. you deserve more than his uncertainities!!
rbsingle1959
rbsingle1959
nice comment about having his cake and ice cream too? Could it be that he doesnt want to divorce me so that i dont move forward with someone else while he has his relationship. Is this fair?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Seems he is not wanting to divorce before he knows this new girl will work out. Also, it sounds like he is unsure of his actions (now once reality set in) and by not divoricing you, he may feel things are still "intact". I would let hell come rolling in before I let him decide to live my life this way. But.. that's just me :)
rbsingle1959
rbsingle1959
this comment is to the one made by catbird. Awesome!! i thought about what you said and thought it before you wrote it. I often wonder if he is regretting but knows he could never come back. I dont want his ass anyhow. I would never trust him again. If he did this to me behind the pulpit so to speak (as he was a pastor) he would definitely do it again being off it. Sometimes i say to myself it he were really certain he would have done something by now unless shes the one that doesnt want to marry. what do you think? Sometimes its like they dont want you but cant see someone else have you either.
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