Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I posted here a few weeks ago on everyone's thoughts on arranged marriages. I am indian and this is very normal in my culture. After a lot of thinking I have decided that I was only considering this as a quick fix to heal my broken heart. To speed up the recovery process and throw my focus into something else. I realized even an arranged marriage shouldn't be gone into with that thinking. That would only hurt the other person and just be so unfair. So for the moment I have decided to be alone and "work on myself." My question is what does this really mean? I don't think I hate my ex anymore. I am not angry at him and if anything I get more disgusted thinking about the things he used to say and the awful ways he treated me. I am however extremely sad a majority of the time. I have had random people who haven't seen me in a while say "there is this extreme sadness in your eyes" it must be true because I wake up almost every morning still with this empty feeling. I am in therapy but im still not sure what to do to get rid of this pain I still feel. I don't speak to him I don't see him but yet he is always on my mind still. I don't know how to accelerate this process and just have him out of my mind for good. I just want to move on with my life and it just seems even though I have deleted him from facebook, blocked his phone number and changed my email address he is just as much a part of my life because my heart hasn't caught up to my head
I have read so much in this last month, listened to friends and tried to find some solace. There are days I feel closer and then I hit an emotional land mine and I find myself sucked back in to despair.
Self happiness, being happy with oneself or whatever this is called, even perhaps being complete is something I am trying to work out. I am working on forgiveness, while I cannot undo the hurt, I cannot die under it. This is a concept I am wrestling with. I am writing again which is a good thing for me. I am working on self, reading about Buddhism. I want to find center.
What do you do for you that is nice? What care do you take of you? What was the last funny movie you watched? When did you last laugh? These are building blocks for me. I have great kids and I am working on being present and happy so we can enjoy life, as sad as some of these days may be!
Think about what I asked you. What do you do for you? Not self pity but self care. Be safe, be blessed and find a reason to laugh.